10 examples of how your partner may be gaslighting you in a relationship

The foundations of a strong link in the world of relationships are open communication and trust. Gaslighting is one such manipulative technique that certain partners may use, which may be emotionally damaging and impair a person’s sense of reality. In order to make the other partner doubt their senses and sanity, one spouse quietly alters the truth, disputes facts, or manipulates events in a process known as gaslighting. Maintaining mental health and developing a supportive relationship depends on being able to recognise gaslighting tactics. Remember that the first step to regaining control and establishing healthy relationships is realising that you are being gaslighted. (Also read: Relationship tips: 6 ways to deal with gaslighting )

10 examples of gaslighting in a relationship

“Gaslighting is a type of psychological manipulation used to make you doubt your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions of events,” says Erica Turner, Relationship Therapist and Dating Coach in her recent Instagram post. She further shared ten common examples of gaslighting in relationships.

1. They tell you that what you feel is wrong or that you shouldn’t feel that way.

2. Dismiss, ignore, or invalidate your emotions or needs

3. They insist you said or did things that you didn’t do

4. They call you “too emotional” or “crazy” when you express your feelings, concerns, or problems with something going on in the relationship

5. They insist they are right and refuse to consider your perspective or the facts that you share

6. They reverse the discussion to what you did to deflect taking accountability

7. They attempt to correct your memory and make you doubt your perceptions

8. They blame you for their mood or behaviour to excuse taking responsibility for themselves

9. They deny their actions/words even when you have proof they did or said it

10. They tell you how you should feel (i.e. “You’re fine, stop exaggerating”)

Erica further shared three ways that you can use to avoid being gaslit:

• Know yourself and have a firm sense of what you think, feel, need, prefer, etc. This inner knowing can help you avoid getting twisted into the web of doubting yourself when someone else disagrees with you.
• Radically accept that this person most likely does not want to understand you or your side, and will rarely admit faults or mistakes.
• Set firm boundaries to establish what you will and will not tolerate and uphold those boundaries if they get crossed.