Mature means you’ve reached an advanced stage of mental or emotional development characteristic of an adult. Mature communication is supportive, balanced and regulated, non-reactive, clear and respectful. It is also one of the pillars of successful and happy relationships. Understanding and meeting your partner’s needs is an important element of learning how to communicate maturely in a relationship. Couples can overcome the difficulties and roadblocks that prevent them from realising their relationship goals with mature communication. It is the ability to communicate with compassion and trust your relationship. (Also read: 5 communication reminders for successful relationships )
Amy Fiedler, Certified Life Coach, shared seven ways to communicate maturely in your relationship in her recent Instagram post.
1. Listening carefully, before responding: It’s important to recognize that we all filter information differently. Sometimes how something is intended isn’t how we receive it. It’s always safe to ask for clarification.
2. Healthy conflict resolution: When you want to resolve conflict, having a mindset that it’s you versus them is not ever going to be productive. Your partner is on the same team as you. Remembering this even when upset, hurt, sad or frustrated is necessary for the health of your relationship.
3. Taking responsibility for your actions: When two mature individuals are interacting, they both acknowledge they are responsible for their own words and actions. Blame is not the default setting in these relationships. Instead, there’s the communication of feelings, honest emotion, personal accountability and boundary setting.
4. Being able to communicate your boundaries and not abandon them when someone oversteps them: Personal accountability is essential in any relationship. That includes taking responsibility for respecting yourself regardless of what others choose to do. That means you recognize that your boundaries are there for you. They may not change the behaviour of others but that doesn’t mean you abandon them too.
5. Having the willingness to communicate through everything: Effective communication involves knowing how to listen attentively. It’s the ability to offer empathy, open-mindedness, and helpful feedback. Even if you are at your worst phase it is important to keep communication open.
6. Mutual respect: Maturity means we are willing to give what we want to receive. Boundaries for both individuals are supportive of each of you and the relationship as a whole. Being willing and able to hear them and respect them is important.
7. Expressing how you feel or asking for additional support: Here are some examples of what that can look like:
• Excuse yourself from the environment after a conflict before having a conversation about how you feel.
• Grabbing a journal when you’re upset to release your anger and find direction, feedback and clarity in it.
• Pausing before allowing yourself to be quick to react or attack.
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