Ask Amy: They lied to me about their wedding. Should I confront them?

Dear Amy: We learned that my long-divorced nephew — my brother’s son — had gotten engaged to his girlfriend, whom we have not met.

In a congratulatory card we asked them to inform us when they set the wedding date so we could book the flights.

A month ago, my nephew informed me they were planning to elope. I told him we would love to meet them for dinner on a trip we plan for later this year, and they agreed.

This month, invitations were received by my many siblings for a summer wedding. We did not receive one – and I doubt it was lost in the mail.

Knowing that I am not a favorite of this nephew’s mom (since her developing early dementia), it was not a surprise – except for his story about eloping.

While I am prepared to send $1,000 like we gave to a niece on my wife’s side, my wife disagrees because we were invited to and attended her niece’s wedding.

Should I contact my nephew or his dad? I am inclined to just let it go and send the gift, but what’s your take?

Disappointed

Dear Disappointed: I think you jumped the gun when you responded to this engagement by assuming they’d be having a wedding and that you would be invited.

I suggest reaching out to your nephew and saying, “I don’t want to pressure you, but I’m just trying to clarify whether we’ve been invited to your wedding?”

This is extremely awkward, but keep in mind that when it comes to weddings, the groom’s preferences are often outnumbered by the bride, her family and his parents.

And yes – if you can afford to be this generous to all of your nephews and nieces, I think you should send a check.

Dear Amy: My parents are wonderful people. They have a longtime friend, “Roger,” who is a heavy drinker and doesn’t have a family of his own. He doesn’t seem to reciprocate their friendship, and they seem to accept Roger as something of a family member – he’s just someone who is often around.