DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in fast food. On a recent shift, I recognized my friend’s mother as one of our customers. I believe she did not recognize me, as she was very rude to me and the other staff before I could even greet her. It was awkward and uncomfortable.
I’m sure to run into her again when I see my friend, and I think that because of our most recent interaction, she’ll definitely remember me now. What should I do?
Tricky Situation
DEAR TRICKY SITUATION: You did nothing wrong. Be sure to remember that.
When you see this woman, greet her in a friendly and respectful manner. You can say that you saw her the other day at your job, and leave it at that. No need to add any commentary.
If she remembers her bad behavior, that may inspire her to apologize. Perhaps she was in a bad mood or something happened to set her off. Who knows? She could also be oblivious to her behavior.
In any case, it is not for you to address. In hospitality, the customer nearly always gets the last word. You should say nothing, including to your friend.
Chances are, the next time she comes into your restaurant she will be on better behavior, though.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My youngest daughter is graduating from college this year and is looking forward to moving in with her older sister when she graduates. Both girls live in a different state than me.
While I love them both, I am hesitant about this decision. My older daughter has always been a bit malicious and mean to her little sister, and I’m not comfortable with them living together without my presence there to supervise. I’m worried about the potential of a toxic relationship developing between the two of them.
Can you offer any advice or insight?
Protective
DEAR PROTECTIVE: Now is the time for you to step back. Your daughters have to figure out their lives on their own as young adults.
There is a near-certainty that they will butt heads and that your oldest will try some of her tricks on her sister. Perhaps the youngest will begin to flex for herself and learn how to stand her ground.
Do your best to stay out of it. When the calls come for you to referee — and they will — stay neutral. If you can, don’t get involved at all.
Tell them that they made the choice to live together. They need to figure out how to do so and manage on their own. If you must, you can remind the older sister to be kind and the younger one to stand up for herself, but work hard not to get involved. Don’t listen to the stories.
Tell them to talk to each other and work it out. If you notice that either or both of them are suffering to too great an extent, by all means step in and help separate one from the other, but that’s down the line.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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