What is erotic hypnosis? And can it ever be a safe kink for those wanting to try it?

Ava* and Abbey* spoke with me on Zoom, following the Buzzfeed article, about their experience and the alleged abuse they faced at the hands of *James [all names have been changed]. They are now roommates and cite the community they’ve found as the only positive takeaway of their experience “It’s kind of cool that now we do have this support network and also friends.”

Ava (she/they) tells me that she has started to make files of their own since the abuse, “I made a couple that reinforces Bambi’s ability to set boundaries and to say no. And positive affirmations that reinforce things for confidence.”

Telling me that the original Bambi files reinforce a person’s self-image with anxiety, “You always have to look perfect. You always have to have your makeup done. I think for me that creating files that do the opposite of what those files do it’s been very cathartic and therapeutic, and it’s helped me get into hypnosis again. And I feel like I’m helping my friends.”

Ava hasn’t left the Reddit thread and takes an active role as a moderator because they wanted to make it safe for others, “I decided to stay because I realised ‘if I’m not there, who’s gonna be there?’ I can create a place where people can talk about anything. Encourage people to talk about the safeties, and we post resources. What happens if someone like my hypnotist is in charge of that space? That’s my biggest fear.”

“I think erotic hypnotism, like as a whole, can be engaged in healthy, safe and sane ways. And it’s very fun,” says Ava.

“I don’t want people using what happened to us as a way to try to demonise or bash erotic hypnosis as a kink.”

“It can be therapeutic for some people, even though it’s not therapy and shouldn’t be used as a replacement for therapy. It can just feel good, and it’s a great way to escape. And I don’t want people using what happened to us as a way to try to demonise or bash erotic hypnosis as a kink.

“Because what happened to us was a combination of an abusive man using files that are scripted to erode someone’s consent. And that combination of things is what led to that happening. Some people do listen to the Bambi files, and they don’t have a bad experience. I feel like the files are unsafe based on the way that they’re scripted. And I wouldn’t listen to them if I had known that before.”

Ava doesn’t think that the Bambi files can just be ‘taken away’, “You can’t erase them from the internet. People are gonna find these files, and they’re gonna listen to them, and some people are gonna have a good experience. I don’t know what else to do with that other than to say putting resources out there. So, at least if people decide to listen because they see people having good experiences, they can make an informed decision about it.”

Abbey is similarly still active in the erotic hypnosis scene, “I’m regularly re-traumatizing myself. It’s [erotic hypnosis is] my main source of income right now. And so I can’t really pull back. But I love erotic hypnosis. It’s sexy.”

“I don’t think that the Bambi files are super safe to engage with,” Ava tells me. “I think they have a lot of issues, a lot of boundary-pushing, consent, violating issues, and a lot of also problematic features like personality destruction, et cetera. But the thing that I do like is the community, which is fantastic. That little Bambi community is great.”

Ava and Abbey both felt that the banning of the term ‘erotic hypnosis’ in Big Porn, pushes it to the fringes and makes it less safe, because people will still do it but without the necessary knowledge or support.