A foster mum and her motherhood journey: ‘It doesn’t matter if the child is from my body or not’

“She was carried in by a child protection officer and was very quiet. I could see that she was very nervous,” the 36-year-old recalled.

“After half an hour of quiet conversation, the officer told me I could carry her. The moment I carried her, she started crying and moved into a foetal position – she curled up and wrapped her hands around my arm. Instinctively, I started rocking and comforting her,” said Chen.

Joey eventually fell asleep in that position, and the child protection officer left Chen and her husband with the child.

THE DAUGHTER SHE DID NOT CARRY IN HER WOMB

That was how Chen’s motherhood journey began – not with a nine-month pregnancy or a baby who suckled at her breasts.

“From being a married couple with no kids, we suddenly jumped many phases to begin caring for a toddler,” Chen said. 

Many mothers describe the first meeting with their child as truly magical. Few, however, would describe an experience akin to Chen’s.

“After she fell asleep, I slowly put her down on the sofa, covered her with a blanket and surrounded her with soft items. She slept for close to an hour.

“Throughout this time, my husband and I just walked around and kept checking if she was awake. Eventually, she opened her eyes and realised she was in this new house. Her face fell and she looked like she was going to cry,” Chen recalled.

Chen knew that Joey’s reaction was natural. As a preschool teacher, she had seen many cases of separation anxiety.

She also knew that Joey had been placed in foster care because of family problems and safety concerns, and this added to the child’s stress.

“When I asked her what she wanted to do, she pointed outside the house. So we took her out immediately. We went on a shopping trip to get her new clothes and other items,” said Chen.

That was just the first day, and the couple knew they had a challenging journey ahead.