Internet slams husband who stole $1,000 from wife for luxury massages

Having taken a massive hit to the couple’s income, a woman has demanded her husband pay her back $1,000 he used for luxury massages.

Posting to the infamous r/AmITheA**hole subreddit, Reddit user u/throwPricematter1 wrote a post titled “AITA for demanding my husband to pay me the $1000 dollars he spent behind my back?” The post has received over 17,800 upvotes and 3,600 comments, nearly all rallying behind the woman.

In the post, she explains that they used to be a two-income household, but recently her husband lost his job, and they lost their house. They had to sell off some things and move into a smaller apartment.

“My husband has an expensive habit of going to the spa for a weekly massage session. we live in an urban area so this stuff is ridiculously expensive. A single session is 250$, and he has to have it every week so that’d be nearly 1000 a month!” u/throwPricematter1 wrote. “I offered him to have his session at a regular spa but no, he has to get it from that luxurious spa near the restaurant we used to go saying the lady who gives the massage is an expert and he’s used to her.”

She says the couple is having trouble making ends meet, and what’s more—she’s pregnant. Since they have to save money for the nursery, she told him she wouldn’t pay for his massage sessions anymore, only for him to say he’d get the money himself. But his plan was apparently to secretly use her credit card, maxing it out.

“I found that out when I went shopping for baby essentials and the cashier said I had no money. I had to return everything then went home and went off on him. I told him he maxed my card out and made me look like an idiot at the store,” she wrote. “He said he didn’t tell me cause he knew I’d have an issue with it.”

Though u/throwPricematter1 demanded he pay her back, he refused. It resulted in an argument with her calling him irresponsible, and him calling her selfish and telling her to “stop playing victim.” She says he also accused her of “dismissing his own needs as a human.”

“I went upstairs and he went out. He started giving me silent but I kept demanding the money back,” she wrote. “He said I shouldn’t expect it back since we’re married then my money is technically his and I should stop using his unemployement against him.”

Though many married couples have joint bank accounts, this isn’t always the case. Sometimes one partner might be foolish with money, and the other might feel a need to protect the both of them from their extravagant spending. But when one partner is trying to take the other’s money, the Economic Times calls that bullying.

As far as legal consequences go, it depends on the state, according to ZACKS Finance. In nine states, everything that is earned during the marriage, regardless who who earns it, is community property. In this case, that would mean that u/throwPricematter1’s husband would have the legal right to do what he did. In other states, while what her husband allegedly did might not be legal, but it could be an uphill battle proving theft in court, given that the couple are married.

The original poster’s fellow Redditors were not swayed by her husband’s arguments.

“[Not the a**hole.] He stole from you to buy a luxury,” u/teresais wrote. “Immediately cut him off from all access to your money and credit. Don’t give him any money at all. And seriously reconsider living with him since he steals from you.”

“I hate to jump to conclusions but there’s definitely something off here. Mo one needs a professional weekly $250 massage at the one specific place with a specific person to the point they are willing to steal 1k from their pregnant spouse and unborn child,” u/noblestromana said.

“Cancel the card, put the money you earn in your name only. Maybe instead of getting a luxurious massage, he should be applying for jobs? Like wtf. A baby is going to drain finances even more,” u/tractorchick wrote, and u/throwPricematter1 replied that he’s “refusing to ‘lower’ his expectations or the bar for a decent job like the one he had.”

“Start getting your ducks in a row. Talk to an attorney. Split your finances. Cancel that credit card and HIDE ANY OTHERS YOU MAY HAVE,” u/LetThemEatHay wrote. “This is not going to get better, OP. I ‘need’ a massage pretty much all the time given my back issues. The last one I had was 5 years ago in a resort in Lanzarote, because it came with our reservations at the resort. Why? Because I have other s*** that needs paying for (and I’m not the breadwinner), like bills, kid stuff, food (strange thing, everyone in my house likes to eat!)”

“Like I said, this isn’t going to get better. You can’t reason with that level of entitlement. Also, you might report those charges as fraudulent and set the credit card company on your husband. He took your card without your knowledge and now you’re in a pretty dire financial situation,” they continued.

Newsweek reached out to u/throwPricematter1 for comment.