A week in Gran Canaria turned me from Mr Grumpy, to Mr Lazy to Mr Happy

SOMETIMES there is guilt-free pleasure to be had in doing as little as possible on holiday. After all, life is fast, busy, and exhaustingly non-stop.

So when we jetted off to Gran Canaria, the intention (or my intention at least) was clear: Do nothing much.

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So I was, in effect, Mr Lazy. I even — if you remember what the famous Mr Men character looks like — had the pinkish skin and rather dodgy hat.

Doing nothing isn’t always easy. In my case, it meant no news — tricky for a news-junkie journalist — no email, no social media, little TV, no doomscrolling.

And no constant checks for messages on the mobile. It was a little like being back in the 1970s — without the flares.

Anyway, our hotel — the splendid four-star Seaside Sandy Beach in lively Playa Del Ingles — was the perfect spot in which to chill.

It’s a refined, Moorish-inspired place that curves around a large and welcoming pool — and there’s a cosy family-only pool for parents and children. That’s if they’re not being entertained at the on-site mini club.

Of course, while I turned into Mr Lazy and set up camp beside the pool bar with a cold beer, the kids — Kitty, 13, and ten-year-old Maggie — were anything but lazy.

It was hard getting them out of the pool at times.

We had the benefit of an all-inclusive food and drinks package on our stay. This is highly recommended, and not just for that cheeky lunchtime glass of rose. Keeping the girls hydrated — and me in gin and tonics — could add up.

As it was, all those Diet Cokes, iced teas, mocktails (and cocktails) were included. And I’ll raise a glass to that.

Our third-floor family room was large, comfortable, invitingly cool and with a sweeping terrace that looked out on to the Atlantic.

The weather was delightful. The mercury topped out at 30°C on a couple of days — but for the most part it was a balmy late-20s. Which, as someone who doesn’t so much tan as stroke, was godsend.

Meanwhile, I discovered that at lunchtime I pressed pause on being Mr Lazy and turned into Mr Healthy (if there were such a character).

For some reason, whenever I’m on holiday I eat way more healthily than normally. Maybe it’s to make up for the hurried sandwiches at my desk during the working week.

The Seaside Sandy Beach’s buffet-style restaurant offers cuisine for every taste. Fry-up breakfast? No problem. Continental style? Help yourself. Fresh pancakes and omelettes? Why not. In fact, even if you just had toast and coffee — as I did from time to time — it was still top-notch.

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It is much the same at lunch — freshly cooked fish or meat to order plus a vast array of options for any palate. I, being Mr Healthy, mostly had salads with some mackerel or chicken on the side.

And, in contrast to the often bland and tasteless vegetables served up back home, the produce here was exquisite.

Creamy artichoke salads, tomatoes bursting with flavour, nourishing greens and peppers, grain and rice options. Also available were an array of delicious fish and meat choices.

And, for the younger ones and the fussy eaters, there were burgers, pasta and fries.

The restaurant is all incredibly efficient, friendly and imm­aculate. Quite how they pull it off day after day, service after service, is remarkable.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a holiday without drinking at odd hours. So there were more than a few guests who washed down their breakfast with a glass or two of cava.

And why not, as the legendary film critic Barry Norman was reputed to say.

There was, even for Mr Lazy, little excuse to leave the hotel. But should some degree of wanderlust strike, the resort of Playa Del Ingles is a busy resort town selling the usual array of localised souvenirs — some of it surprisingly bawdy.

Of course, tacky keep-sakes are just as common on the royal mile as in Gran Canaria.

Though the Spanish merchandise certainly raises a smile.
But that could just be my Mr Snooty side showing through.

It is a short 200-metre stroll from the hotel to the gleaming sands of the local beach, which stretches for miles in either direction.

And a mile or two down the shoreline are the incredible Maspalomas dunes that look like they’ve been teleported in from the Sahara desert. It is quite the sight.

The beach was popular enough but a world away from the sardine-like crush of the Costas.

There is even a nudist section if that floats your boat. I thought the world was a better place without my participation.

Back at the hotel, there is post-dinner entertainment should you fancy it.

At the pool bar, there were some enthusiastic singers belting out some ageless hits.

And once the plates and cutlery were cleared away, there were some non-musical acts on offer in the restaurant area. A quirky magic show one night. Some muscle men (and a woman) doing some rather challenging-looking balancing acts another. Bingo on another night. There’s plenty on offer.

The 256-room hotel has its own spa and sauna if pampering is on the agenda. There’s also a gym room to work off that cheeky extra pastry at breakfast

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And the hotel even has its own bakery, which supplies other hotels in the chain nearby.

The produce — breads, rolls, pastries and so on — is just top-notch. You could say that sums up the Seaside Sandy Beach.

For me, lazing away an afternoon with the kids in the pool, cold beer at hand, halfway through a gripping novel — the latest Stephen King, since you ask — was bliss.

And I found myself moving away from being Mr Lazy. To being Mr Happy.

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