Friendship Day 2022: Here’s how to help your friend deal with heartbreak

A breakup can be a vulnerable and confusing time for everyone involved since the brokenhearted tend to lean on their friends who too are often clueless or feel powerless to change or fix the situation but always ready to give relationship advices over brunch or through one-line quips. Even if you have been through a heartbreak, it is hard to know what to say when you see your friend’s heart break and feel so emotionally low but it is essential to be there for them even if you never liked their ex.

Ahead of Friendship Day 2022, we collected some tips to help you channel your inner knight-in-shining armour and help heal your best friend’s broken heart:

1. Do not assume. Ask what you can do to help – We assume that no one knows our best friend better but while you can begin by sharing your own rebound story to help dim their pain, allow your friend to take the lead on how they want to process their breakup. Ask them whether they want you to be petty or want you to hype them up or need pizza or just need to vent since everyone likes to be cared for in different ways. Hence, refrain from offering advice if your friend isn’t looking for it during this vulnerable time and leave the offer open for your friend to approach you if they have no idea what they need right now.

2. Do not push them to do things your way – The last thing that your friend wants after sleepless nights, crying fits, feeling a giant void and having to share the news with family members, friends or co-workers is to listen to you pass judgment on how they should heal. We all heal differently and if your friend engages in destructive behaviours, opt consciously for language that is full of empathy and compassion like, “I know you’re trying your best. I’m also noticing that somethings might be hindering your healing process. Are you open to hearing my suggestions?”

3. Watch your friend’s alcohol or drugs consumption – The emotional weight of a break-up can be all-consuming hence, some might find it normal to give in to a night or two of boozing after a breakup. As a friend, you should ensure that your friend take care of herself or himself holistically and not over rely or find too much solace in drugs or alcohol. Remember, a healthy body will help lead to a healthy mind much more quickly, hence, encourage them to exercise more, drink more water, get sleep, move their body and getting fresh air and sunshine, take up painting, play an instrument or channel their grief into working hard for a promotion.

4. Avoid speaking poorly about their ex – Keep your opinions to yourself until things have settled down if you are furious at your friend’s ex or never trusted them in the first place. Remember, badmouthing is never productive and the current situation with your friend is a good time to foster positivity. If your friend is missing or still in love with their ex, your negative comments will only push them further in their shell and make them feel like they can’t confide their vulnerable sentiments to you.

5. Let your friend get angry and make space for grief – Breakups are a grieving process upon losing a relationship and connection to a person who played a significant role in our lives and though the process is not linear, your friend may move back and forth between the stages of confusion, denial, sadness, negotiation and acceptance throughout their healing. No matter how hard it is to hard to witness your friend in pain, do not rush it since the next stage after acceptance is anger in most people’s grieving process. Anger is a good sign that indicates moving past the rejection and as a friend, you have to ensure that they do not end up thinking that everyone is evil when just one person hurt them. Make space for grief and anger but also discourage your friend from being driven to negative or violent action stemming from grief or anger.