I wore Isamaya Ffrench’s penis-shaped lipstick for a week and this is what happened

Of course, this isn’t the first time Isamaya has caused some raised eyebrows – her first eponymous makeup collection toyed with the idea of BDSM, with rings mimicking nipple piercings sitting atop a mascara. So if you nervously snicker while purchasing Nars’ Orgasm Blush, these new lipsticks are definitely not for you. 

As for my experience? Unboxing the lipstick in the GLAMOUR office causes squeals and embarrassed giggles but also some wrinkled-up noses when people hold it. In the lift I get some bemused side-eyes. 

But on the tube I use my discretion. My moral barometer tells me it’s not OK to whip out a shiny penis-shaped lipstick when a woman parks her pram across from me and I already have the attention of a curious toddler. I worry, too, that late at night it might make me vulnerable on my journey home. Even my computer’s firewall deemed the selfies I tried to send from my phone X-rated, as my email kept flashing up with the message “dangerous attachment”.

I would say that with the lid off, the lipstick base looks less potentially offensive – like a woman’s hourglass bum. Given Isamaya’s aesthetic is famously to create beauty packaging that doubles up as objects of art, is there really any difference between this lipstick and, say, homeware or paintings featuring bare breasts and bums? 

I think there is. Take Anissa Kermiche’s Bum vase, for example. It is a gentle ode to the female figure. It’s not ambiguous in its celebration of the female form. Isamaya’s Lips are somehow more aggressive – their weight alone testifies to that, as each one comes in at approximately 10 ounces, which is about three times the average lipstick bullet. So practicality wasn’t exactly top of the agenda when creating them.

Nor is there any denying that the lipstick has intentionally been crafted to look like a post-Italian-Renaissance-sculpture-meets-sex-toy. The fact that it’s such a tactile beauty product also sets it apart from the nude art you may display in your home. Lipstick is designed to be used on the go and handling it, especially winding up the lipstick head, isn’t exactly a subtle reference to oral sex.

I acknowledge that some people may argue that using a penis-shaped lipstick is about empowerment and women reclaiming their sexuality. But flipping the script, would you honestly feel the same way if a man whipped out a vagina-shaped lipgloss and started smearing it over his lips? 

In my opinion, the lipstick pigment is sophisticated and long wearing – exactly what you’d expect from any Isamaya beauty product – but user discretion is advised.

For more from Fiona Embleton, GLAMOUR’s Acting Associate Beauty Director, follow her on @fiembleton.