Often we feel that a person is not putting in the necessary efforts in a relationship. This happens usually when we feel that we are giving into the relationship, more than we are getting back. In such cases, we can be a victim of breadcrumbing. Breadcrumbing is a term used to describe a certain kind of behavior when a person leads us on with small levels of interests, but they are never putting in extra efforts to make it into a real relationship. This can happen due to a variety of reasons – from having insecurities to having the fear of loneliness or not having the emotional maturity to face things. Explaining breadcrumbing, Therapist Susanne Wolf wrote, “Breadcrumbing is a term used to describe behavior of leading someone on by showing small and inconsistent amounts of interest (breadcrumbs) to maintain someone’s interest but actually having no intention to pursue a real relationship.”
No commitment: They usually show interest in showing up but have the fear of committing to plans. Usually, they end up not being present.
Mixed signals: They are scared of taking the relationship forward but are also afraid of being alone. Hence, they give us mixed signals and keep us confused, forbidding us from moving on.
Ignoring calls and messages: They are not fluent with responses. They always try to delay or avoid phone calls and messages.
No efforts: They shy away from putting efforts in the relationship. They may show small and inconsistent interest in the relationship but avoid giving in more effort in the relationship.
Keep options open: they treat us as an option. They try to see around if they have better options available.
Inconsistency: They sometimes make us feel seen and appreciated, followed by moments of avoiding us for days.
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