A relationship demands two people who are ready to understand each other, compromise a bit and put a lot of effort into making things work out. Love is one of the foundations of a relationship, but the building blocks also include patience, loyalty and a lot of comfort. However, some relationships can get toxic with time. As people progress into the relationship, people start to change when they no longer align and hence, they choose to break off the relationship. Love bombing is one of the ways when a relationship can start to get toxic, without the other person understanding it in the beginning. “Love bombing is an unconscious adaptation to protect against abandonment. If you’ve experienced this, I hope this series allows you to feel seen,” wrote Psychologist Nicole LePera as she explained Love Bombing in her recent Instagram post.
It is the process in a relationship when a person showers a lot of affection and attention on the other person in the beginning of the relationship. This further changes to emotional abuse over time and turns toxic. The issue of love bombing lies in the fact that it can get very addictive. Especially people who have been a victim of Childhood Emotional Neglect, they get addicted to love bombing very easily. However, love bombing, within a period of time, also builds authentic emotional connection through mutual sharing between two partners.
The problem lies in the fact that it is a boundary violation. Love bombing happens when the person creates a fantasy version of us. Soon, as we spend time with them and navigate through conflicts, we come to see their real version. With time, as we start to see situations where we no longer align with the love bomber’s fantasy version of us, they feel a sense of loss of control. This induces fear or anger in them. Hence, the result is either control, abandonment or emotional abuse.
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