Arsenal dominates MLS in strange All-Stars Skills Challenge but even the gap in quality can’t ruin the night for DC fans

If an All-Star Game wasn’t a foreign enough concept for a European side, Arsenal participated in the MLS Skills Challenge Tuesday night – and the results were slightly surreal.

The Gunners called on 10 players for the wonky event – including new signings Kai Havertz and Jurrien Timber – and you wouldn’t have known this squad was new to the spectacle.

Arsenal beat their hosts in four of five competitions, which featured numbered goal targets and massive circular targets akin to what you might see in the ‘Skill Games’ mode on FIFA 23.

The night began with ‘Goalie Wars’ between two MLS Next keepers – Ben Martino and Isaac Walker (the eventual winner) – as they tried to score on each other from roughly 20 yards apart.

They were not limited to using their feet and often tried to hurl the ball past each other.

Arsenal dominated the MLS All-Stars Skills Challenge Tuesday night ahead of the game 

Christian Benteke struggled in front of the hometown crowd Tuesday at Audi Field

Arsenal called on 10 players, including new signing Kai Havertz, for the skills competition

Arsenal won the first challenge of the night, a shooting challenge with targets in the goal

From there, three representatives from each side competed in a shooting challenge with players earning points by hitting different targets in the net.

Other than during a couple strong rounds from Jakub Kiuwor and Denis Bouanga to close the competition, the crowd didn’t get into that one much. 

In fact, a quiet fell over Audi Field as hometown DC United striker Christian Benteke struggled and eventually blazed a shot over the bar.

Arsenal won that competition – and the next – where players had to field a pass on the volley, take a touch and aim at what can only be described as a massive skeeball machine.

Aaron Ramsdale was absent for the first hour of the night but finally got involved during the cross and volley event, which finally elicited a proper reception out of the crowd.

Denis Bouanga looked like the best finisher – from either team  – as he scored a scissor kick

But Havertz failed to score a single point in the cross and shoot competition on Tuesday

The DC fans reveled in Kai Havertz’s plight – he failed to score a single point against former Borussia Dortmund man Roman Burki – and Bouanga’s sharp shooting, as the Gabonese striker wowed the crowd with a scissor kick.

At one point, he scored four or five in a row. It felt like the best distillation of the NBA’s three-point competition, and give MLS its first win of the night.

A passing competition featuring the likes of Jorginho, All-Star captain Lucho and Thiago Almada proved more popular than expected – and got Arsenal back in the win column – before the ever-popular crossbar challenge concluded the night.

It was, of course, MLS product Auston Trusty who won the competition for the Londoners to finish off a lighthearted night in the US capital. 

Three days before Lionel Messi’s predicted debut for Inter Miami, it was hard not to imagine what this competition would look like if he was involved.

Both because of the degree to which he’d dominate, and also the mental image of him trying to pass the ball into a massive circular hole.

Arsenal have friendlies against Man United, Barca and Monaco remaining after this All-Star Week before they embark on a gauntlet of a season. They’ll be hoping to lift Premier League silverware in 10 months.

On Tuesday, though, they just had a bit of fun.