As a Black woman growing up in London, here’s what I’ve learned about the power of sisterhood

While not all sisterhoods are the same, there is a solid argument for the development that comes with having a strong community around you. Shows like Harlem, Girlfriends, and Insecure depict the beauty of modern-day sisterhood, but they also showcase the highs and lows that come with navigating those types of friendships as you grow. One thing all these shows have in common is the fact that Black women hugely benefit from having – and I will go as far as to say need – sisterhood, a group of friends or actual sisters that they can both relate to and feel vulnerable around.

To me, sisterhood is not just about good vibes and in-jokes; it is a place I can go to remember who I am and where I’m going. Through sisterhood, I’ve learned not to take things too personally because everyone has their own issues. It’s helped me to understand how I can be there for the ones I love while also helping me understand my own triggers. Not to mention providing a safe space for me to let my hair down, literally.

My sisterhood became a massive lifeline of support for me while dealing with misogynoir, grief, and loss. When no words were enough to soothe the emotions I felt, I learned the importance of simply showing up for the people I love. You see, sisterhood is your friend showing up at your house with food to watch a show they’ve probably seen a hundred times already, just because it makes you happy, and by the night’s end, you’ve both been laughing so hard all life’s difficulties seem to have disappeared.

It’s the feeling of going through yet another breakup and crying about it to your friend while she restrains from telling you “I told you so” even though she did, indeed, tell you so, multiple times in fact. It’s the feeling of getting a cab home with your friend after the motive and her texting to make sure you got home safe and had a good night. It’s accountability without judgement, care without expectation, slowly healing wounds together while jointly manifesting your wildest dreams.

Growing up, some of my fondest memories with friends have taken place outside our favourite chicken shop, ordering the same four wings and chips, which our parents told us not to buy because there’s rice at home. Or at the back of the bus, hysterically laughing as our friend tries to prove the boy she likes is better looking in real life and just not that good at taking pictures. The point is, your sisterhood doesn’t need to be the most glamorous – it’s about cultivating a space where those life-long sister-friendships can grow, weathering ups and downs and the discomfort of not always seeing eye to eye, learning how to give others the grace we so desperately yearn for ourselves.

Kumba Kpakima is GLAMOUR‘s Associate Social Media Manager.