As JLo and Ben Affleck finally make it down the aisle, here are the fascinating reasons we go back to old flames

“Talking about what went wrong openly, as well as what you loved about each other, allows for time, space and reflection for both of you,” Kirsty says.

“It also allows you to see if the other person is willing to acknowledge the issues that led to the break up first, and gives you a blueprint to talk about those things as you commence on a new journey together. If your ex is unwilling to engage in this conversation or just wants to start fresh, the risk is that they’re unable to see the issues, and they may well crop up again later down the line.”

The fact that Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have rekindled their relationship nearly 20 years after their break up actually works in their favour, as enough time needs to pass following a break up to allow both parties to heal and move on in a sense.

“There isn’t a set time limit, but being very comfortable being alone and not feeling dependent on someone else is a good starting place,” Kirsty explains. “It’s also worth checking how you feel about your ex. If there is still anger or great sadness or pain, it’s probably too soon to be engaging with them again.

“Ensure you have strong foundations of your own before you consider getting back with your ex; you need to know you can be happy with them and just as happy without them. This allows you to think more logically and be able to untangle yourself more easily if you start to notice things have not changed, and you are feeling unhappy.”

Before sliding into your ex’s DMs, it’s also worth checking out your mental health as Kirsty says getting back together with an old flame can “make you more prone to anxiety and depression”. Patterns of breaking up and getting back together can also lead to psychological stress, higher stress levels and ‘periods of increased unhappiness’.

“If you initially broke up because your partner cheated on you, this can have a great effect on the trust within your relationship. You need to know that this will not happen again, and you also need to be able to believe that within yourself and let it stay in the past. Whilst it may cause you pain from time to time when you remember it, if you bring it up or it becomes a central driver in your relationship again, the relationship will not survive the lack of trust,” Kirsty explains.

“If you really want to make it last this time, proceed with caution. Tread very lightly and ensure you have given it a lot of thought before you go ahead and get together with someone again.”

She says to consider dating casually to start with, to gauge whether it feels right or not.

“Listen to your internal instincts and take your choices seriously,” Kirsty adds. “You can try and rekindle the flame, but be aware that the light may have gone out for good. If you are both on the same page and want to make a success of the relationship this time round, communicate, communicate, communicate. The key to all successful relationships is the ability to talk.”

Well, if JLo and Ben can do it …