Ask Amy: A fresh divorce brings on new questions

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Dear Amy: My husband’s brother and his wife announced about a year ago that they had irreconcilable differences; they divorced after a long and loveless marriage.

To be honest we have no idea why they stayed together as long as they did.

About a month later, my brother-in-law introduced us to his new girlfriend.

I was initially very happy that he had found someone new who really seemed to fit into the family dynamic better than his ex.

But then his new girlfriend reached out on Facebook. I accepted her friend request and was trying to get to know her by looking at her past posts.

That’s when I realized that she and my brother-in-law had been in a relationship for at least five years.

I haven’t mentioned this to anyone else in the family except for my husband.

I was raised with a strong belief in the sanctity of marriage, and I unfortunately find their infidelity and lack of shame about it to be disturbing.

I try not to let this knowledge get in my way of being friendly with them, but it’s always sitting in the back of my mind, and I’ve found myself avoiding them so I don’t have to think about it.

Do you have any suggestions on what I can do to keep this relationship friendly? I don’t want to damage my husband’s family dynamic.

— Don’t Want to be Judgmental

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