Ask Amy: Can I fist-bump people without telling them why?

Dear Amy: I have osteoarthritis in the fingers of my right hand, maybe due to years of shaking hands as part of my business.

When the pandemic hit, I was glad that people became aware that shaking hands spreads germs, and most people stopped doing it.

Now, we seem to be moving back to the practice of shaking hands, and that can be very, very painful for me, because of my arthritis.

Sometimes I do shake hands (hoping that the other person has a gentle handshake), and sometimes I hold up my hands and say, “Sorry, I’m just getting over a cold.” Sometimes I just offer a fist bump instead.

What’s your opinion about me going fist bump full-time (without explaining to the person that I have arthritis)?

Hurtin’ for Certain

Dear Hurtin’: While I love a good fist-bump, I think that offering it without explanation could bring on a lot of physical awkwardness while you convey what you are trying to do.

I need to question your choice to lie about why you can’t shake hands. Telling people you are just getting over a communicable virus is not your best option.

I have witnessed elders with arthritis get physically hurt by a well-meaning and enthusiastic greeting (hugs and handshakes). It’s hard to wince your way through a hearty “hello.”

You might try holding both hands up in a “pause” gesture while you say: “I have painful arthritis in my hand. Can I offer you a gentle fist bump instead of a handshake?”

If you say you have arthritis, this might make people more aware that others are similarly challenged. If you don’t want to disclose this, you can say, “I’m going full-on fist bump. Is that OK with you?”