Ask Amy: I set a high bar for how my boyfriend looks. I wonder if that’s why I don’t have one.

Dear Amy: I am a 16-year-old girl. School is OK (I’m a sophomore), but one thing I notice is the fact that I am really judgmental. I tend to have bad and judgmental thoughts about others.

For example, if I see a girl wearing revealing clothing, I will call her a “slut” or a “whore” inside my head. Or if I see a boy wearing pajamas or slides or crocs at school, I’ll think of him as “lazy” and “sloppy.”

I also have relatively high standards when it comes to having boyfriends. Most of my standards have to do with clothing and shoes.

Even though I’ve never been in a relationship before, I will judge the person by the way they look and if they don’t match my standards, then I won’t give them a chance.

There is this senior who was talking to me, but since he didn’t match my standards, I didn’t want to be seen with him around school.

I’m one of those people who knows what they don’t want rather than what they do want.

I’m trying to figure out what is wrong with me, but I guess I’m so used to being the way I am, it’s hard for me to stop.

I’ve been constantly beating myself up over the fact that I’m judgmental and not giving people a chance. I feel like if I don’t change, then I won’t be able to have a relationship.

What should I do?

Judgmental Teenager

Dear Teenager: First of all, I admire your motivation to change.