Ask Amy: I’m embarrassed to tell people about my son’s money grab

Dear Amy: I am the mom of three “adult” sons. One of them, who will be 21 soon, is not acting like much of an adult.

He chose to move out a little over a year ago, with no plan and no place to live. He has bounced between friends’ houses, a short stay at his brother’s house, and with a family he met at a church he joined. I’m not sure where he’s living now.

I have given him a lot of money over the past 14 months, and I mean a lot! I put myself in a terrible financial situation (didn’t pay credit card bills for months, cashed in the tiny amount of retirement savings I had, etc.).

I did this to help him, only to learn (by his admission) that he lied to me about many things, including what the money was for, having a job, and letting other people text me from his phone asking for money as if they were him, etc.

There was a brief pause in him asking for money for about six weeks when he was living with a family from his church and working.