Ask Amy: It was a great party, but it will be awkward when we next see these people

Dear Amy: We had a party tonight.

It’s not easy to throw parties – from planning, setting up the house, buying and preparing food, etc.

First, I would like to remind folks that it’s common courtesy to respond. There were eight people who didn’t even RSVP.

Second, out of 35 people who responded yes, two canceled the night before, two canceled two minutes before the party started, and six were no-shows.

Shame on them.

We did have a great time, loved the people who attended, and made some great memories; however, the leftover food is a waste and the inconsiderate “friends” left us feeling embarrassed and sad.

Are people really that selfish and clueless?

What do we say to these people the next time we see them?

Done Entertaining in Denver

Dear Done: Yes, it is common courtesy to respond to an invitation.

And yes, common courtesy isn’t all that common.

Hosts should anticipate and be prepared for some last-minute cancellations; our increased awareness of the transmission of viruses makes people who are not feeling well (or who are around those who don’t feel well) hesitant to attend crowded gatherings. It is common courtesy not to expose others to illness.

Technology has enabled hosts to easily invite and keep track of their guest lists. If you use an Evite, you can also remind guests the week of the party, offer last-minute directions to the venue, and “nudge” those who haven’t responded to your invitation to please get back to you. Otherwise, you can do what many beleaguered hosts do, which is to call those who haven’t responded and ask them if they’ll be able to make it.

In terms of what to say to people who have ignored your invitation, it’s not necessary to bring it up (unless you want to). You could choose to leave them off of the list for your next party – and I hope there will be a next party.

Dear Amy: I attend a wonderful writers’ group with six people at our library. Our problem is that one individual there is hijacking the meetings by interrupting and talking so much that she dominates the entire time we have together.

None of us gets a chance to ask for feedback on our writing or to ask questions or contribute to the session.

I did take her aside a few years ago and as gently as possible asked if she could kindly allow all of us to participate, and hold off talking so much as we all had valuable words to share.

Her behavior never changed, and one by one members (including me) stopped going.

Can you dig up some thoughts as to how to fix this situation?