Ask Amy: Loving wife lashes out when drunk

Dear Amy: I have been happily married for 17 years to a kind and loving woman. It is a second marriage for us both.

We are retired and living in an upscale over-55 community.

Over the past few months my wife has begun drinking to excess every evening. When drunk she gets very mean. She criticizes me and dredges up any past mistakes in my life.

For instance, when my first wife and I divorced, I made a substantial financial sacrifice in order to continue to live near my daughter. My wife calls my daughter a “fat loser.” (She and her fiancé have good jobs, own a home and are self-sufficient, but yes they are overweight.)

Every time she gets drunk, she attacks me and brings up how much better off she and I would be if I hadn’t spent my savings staying near my “fat loser daughter.”

These drunken episodes are happening at least weekly.

I speak with her the next day, and she sticks to her rationale for drinking and blames me for whatever she can think of. She claims that she drinks because of me.

I do not know what to do.

Her late mother drank every day and behaved in a similar way.

I love my wife, I am not sure how much longer I can take the emotional beatings.

There are times I just wish I would die. Then at least she could get my insurance.