Ask Amy: My husband sulks when I say we can’t afford these things

Dear Amy: I’m 25 years old. My husband is 28. We have a 7-year-old child.

Both of us work full-time. I’m also in college for my master’s degree. We just bought a house.

Here’s the problem: My husband constantly wants new things.

He wanted an ATV, so I let him buy a used one. Well, the used one isn’t good enough now. He wants to spend $30,000 dollars on a new ATV.

That is as much as my car costs. I think it’s ridiculous.

He is now telling me that he wants a new house. I tell him that maybe when I graduate and pay off my school loans, we can do that.

He doesn’t understand that, gets mad at me, and leaves for an hour.

I tried compromising, telling him how I feel, but nothing helps.

I don’t know what to do. I am starting to feel like I’m being used and that he only loves me when he gets items.

The ATM

Dear ATM: You say you just bought a new house (impressive at your ages) – but your husband wants to buy a different house?

I’m assuming that you two have been together for at least seven years, and if this spending drive is new for him, then I suggest that something is going on with him that he is not disclosing.

I assume that your husband does in fact understand that you can’t — or shouldn’t — purchase all of the new toys he wants, but … he doesn’t care.

You both would benefit from seeing a marriage and financial counselor. Sessions might not be as fun as a new ATV, but would be far less expensive, and would help to illuminate what’s really going on with him.

Dear Amy: I’m stuck in a deep hole.

I didn’t think the COVID lockdown would affect me much because I’m an introvert and a homebody, but I’m finding it difficult to make myself leave the house. I only go to the grocery store and to my doctors’ offices, and occasionally to a family member’s house.

One factor is that I moved to a new town just a couple of months before COVID hit, so I don’t have any local friends. I’m retired, so I don’t have any work buddies.

I know that joining groups is a good way to meet people. I joined a church, but rarely go. I “plan to” join a quilting club and to get together with a group that plays an augmented reality game I used to play all the time.