Dear Amy: I think I was scammed!
As a divorced 62-year-old woman on a fixed income, I recently hired someone to perform plumbing repairs at my house that insurance wouldn’t cover. His bid was substantially lower than the others, and he could start the next day.
He asked for half down, so I sent him 50 percent ($300) through an online payment system.
Well, the next day he never showed up. After I called and texted him several times, he texted me five days later that his mother had suffered seven strokes and was in the hospital, so he wasn’t working all week.
Another week went by, and I texted him to see how his mother was doing and if he was going to be able to get the job done.
I haven’t heard back from him, and I’m suspicious that I never will. I feel like an idiot for not getting a contract to see if he was licensed, bonded and insured.
Should I continue to contact him?
I have his name and number and want to warn people in my neighborhood on the social media platform NextDoor.com.
Maybe that would be a bad idea in case he sees and comes after me? Groan.
Any suggestions on how to get my money back, or should I write this off as a loss?
– Feeling Duped!
Dear Duped: One red flag I see is that the worker only responded to your contact after it was obvious that you weren’t going away. (And “seven strokes” is almost too specific.)
You should contact him again: “I see that you aren’t going to be able to even start the plumbing job, so I’ll need you to refund the $300 deposit I made when we agreed that you would do the work. Please refund this money today.”
If he refunds your money, the only thing you need to do is to find another plumber.
Nextdoor.com might be a good place to post a query to find a plumber recommended by people who live in your area. I would not name and trash him on that site (which has something of a reputation for being toxic), but you could ask in non-specific terms if others nearby have had a similar experience. (Keep in mind that there is a remote possibility that everything he has told you is true.)
If you don’t recover your money, take him to small claims court. Also file a complaint with the office in your state that handles consumer complaints (usually the attorney general’s office).
Dear Amy: I am a 75-year-old mother and grandmother. I live with my 55-year-old daughter and 35-year-old step-grandson.
My problem is with my daughter, my only child.
The only time she is nice to me is when she wants something.
She is critical of everything I do and constantly says hurtful things to me and my grandson.
I’ve thought so many times about moving, but knowing that she can’t make it without my Social Security income keeps me there.
She has a good job but spends the majority of her earnings on weed.
My grandson is just the opposite: loving, caring, helpful and understanding.
I just want to enjoy the rest of my life without the depression and hurt I’m experiencing now. I’m exhausted from walking on eggshells.
Should I (and my grandson) stay or go?
– Hurting Heart
Dear Hurting: Go! Your grandson sounds like a responsible person. If you two have a good rapport, it might be a good idea to seek housing together. You might also consider sharing housing with another senior.
You may qualify for elder housing designed for lower-income seniors, or other programs that could offer you a way to supplement your income (if needed) in order to live on your own. Check with your local Office on Aging for housing and other opportunities in your area.
You feel a lot of pressure to support your daughter because you believe she “needs” your income. But what you are actually doing is supporting her weed habit. She uses you, you enable her, and there you all are – trapped in a toxic triangle.
Dear Amy: Another reader weighing in on your terrible advice to “Eager Dad,” who wanted to contact his adult biological child out of the blue. He should leave this person alone!
– Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: I took this person to task for every single choice he had made in this regard, but I do believe that the child has the right to know about their DNA parentage.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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