Ask Amy: The bride’s wedding plan violates my personal standards

Dear Amy: I am a Christian woman in my 60s. I have to go to a grandniece’s wedding, and they are having a cocktail hour at a bar next door.

I don’t want to go to a bar.

My husband thinks it’s OK to go there and have a soft drink. For me, no. I don’t want to be seen in a bar and do not think it’s right for me to even pretend I’m drinking alcohol or put on the illusion of doing so.

I want to set a good example for others and maintain my own standards.

This wedding is being held in a casino, which I don’t care to go to either, but I am obligated.

Would it be acceptable to just stay at the casino between the end of the ceremony and beginning of the reception? Or go to my car?

I believe I am being led to stay out of the bar.

Nondrinker

Dear Nondrinker: People who order soft drinks at bars are not pretending to drink alcohol. They are simply enjoying a soft drink at a venue that also serves alcohol.

However, you are not obligated to attend the cocktail hour before the reception. This cocktail period is usually provided for guests while the wedding party is being photographed before the reception.

And, not to put too fine a point on it, but casinos are also dens of iniquity. If you want to avoid temptation, you might want to stay in your car.

Wherever you choose to perch during this period, I hope you will do your best to attain and maintain a non-judgmental attitude toward other guests.

Dear Amy: I have been with my husband for 29 years. For the most part, we are happy and compatible. However, over the last three years he has changed course on me.

What I mean is that we were both Christians, until he embraced a New Age philosophy that is in no way compatible with my Christian beliefs.

He stopped attending services with me, and has no interest in our church anymore.

This hurts me deeply. I feel betrayed.

I still love him, but this has put up a barrier between us. It has also caused trust issues on my part, due to some of the comments he has made.

For instance, he says that God wants us to be happy, so we can just throw our inhibitions to the wind.

Also, he sees no problem with women going out in public half-naked. According to him, God does not want us hiding our bodies.