Ask Amy: They used to love visiting grandma’s farm, until this happened. What do I tell her?

Dear Amy: I love and appreciate my mother-in-law, I really do.

She and her husband live about 500 miles away from us, and ever since our two children were young, she has invited them to spend three weeks during the summer at their farm, which is in a beautiful rural area. The kids love this time away, and my husband and I do, too.

Last year when we went to pick up the kids (a girl and a boy, ages 6 and 9), we were quite shocked to see that their grandmother had cut their hair. Both kids wear their hair fairly long and we have always let them decide how they want to have their hair.

I didn’t mention their haircuts, but in the car on the way home they both expressed how upset they were.

It might sound like a small thing, but the kids seem reluctant to share their summer with their grandparents this year.

I’d like to address this with my mother-in-law and pave the way for everyone to have a happy time this summer.

Your suggestion?

Concerned Mom

Dear Concerned: Hair is an extremely important identifier, even for young children.

Some grandmothers seem unable to respect this. They can’t resist the call of the scissors or curb their desire to control how their grandchildren present to the world, and grandchildren are powerless to resist.

The best time to raise this would have been last summer.

You should definitely do so, now. Tell your MIL that you value and respect her, but that she should never cut your children’s hair. Say, “I can imagine that their hair might drive you crazy, but can you agree to let this go? The kids would appreciate it, and we would, too.”

Dear Amy: I’m a mother of two children, ages 7 and 10.