Ask Amy: Widow feels left out of in-law’s bequest

Dear Amy: My husband died young. He was one of three siblings.

I made sure to visit and call my late-husband’s parents regularly. I consider them family. My own father died when I was young, so my father-in-law was my “Pop-pop.”

My mother-in-law died six years ago, but my father-in-law and I continued to call each other on Sundays. I enjoyed our conversations.

My adult children also kept in touch with him.

Sadly, my father-in-law, well into his 90s, died recently.

His eldest child was the executor and said that his dad had recently changed his will, giving one third of his estate to each of his two remaining children and then dividing the remaining third among all of the grandchildren (there are seven, two of them are my children).

I didn’t expect to receive anything from the estate, although a note acknowledging our relationship sure would have meant a lot.

My father-in-law had every right to determine how to bequeath his money, but I am still having trouble with how this played out.

I feel as though my husband’s life was erased from the story — like he never existed — and that my kids ended up being punished (again) by their dad’s early death.

Am I wrong to be so upset about this oversight?

I want to make sure my daughter-in-law and son-in-law feel valued when I die.