Bay Area psychologist offers tips on dealing with holiday blues, stress

Christmas carols and specials have frequently built up the holiday season as the most joyous time of year. There is no doubt that spending time with family and receiving gifts can spark a lot of happiness, but at the same time, there are a lot of factors associated with the season that can contribute to sadness and stress.

In a recent interview with The Reporter, Dr. Supria Gill — assistant regional director of mental health training programs for Kaiser Permanente Northern California as well as a psychologist and manager of behavior medicine at at Kaiser’s Vacaville hospital — outlined some of the factors contributing to holiday-related blues and stress and how to mitigate them.

According to the American Psychological Association, around 38% of people have reported an increase in stress during the holidays, and the National Alliance on Mental Illness indicated that 64% of people experiencing mental illness felt their conditions worsen during the holidays.

“With the last few years, and what we’ve experienced with the pandemic and sociopolitical stressors, I would anticipate that this year, folks might be experiencing even more pressure as they’re able to connect with families that maybe they haven’t been able to in the last few years related to some of those stressors to have that perfect holiday,” Gill said.

Gill said there are a number of factors that contribute to heightened stress. These include navigating family dynamics, lack of time around the holidays and finding the perfect gift, especially amid inflation and, for some, trying to spend on a slim budget.

“I think we often glamorize doing it all, whether it’s at work or at home, and wear this as a badge of honor,” she said. “But what this can really result in is resentment, fatigue, exhaustion, burnout overall.”

Gill said these holiday blues can result in short-term fatigue, tension, sadness and isolation. Stress can yield all of these symptoms, plus an increase in blood pressure, rapid heart rates, headaches, feelings of guilt and loss of interest in activities.

As for how to mitigate these stressors, Gill advises doing simple things such as taking brisk walks or taking breaks from things that might cause stress, such as social media or the news. For specific factors, such as family gatherings, she suggests communicating expectations with loved ones in advance.

“Being in the midst of conflict is bad for our physical health and our mental health,” she said. “If we have grievances with a specific family member that we know we’ll be seeing around the holidays, trying to set them aside until there’s a more appropriate time to discuss at a later time can be helpful.”

There is also stress associated with not being able to attend a gathering or interact with all the family members you want to this year.

“There are times when traditions might not come into play because all of the family can’t be together, and that might be due to illnesses or even travel costs,” she said. “Finding other ways to celebrate together, like sharing pictures (or) meeting through video, but being able to reframe these opportunities that we have to connect.”

To ameliorate gift-related stress, Gill advises setting a budget and tracking it, doing something like a white elephant or Secret Santa gift exchange to reduce the number of gifts to purchase this season, and emphasizing presence over presents.

“One of the things that gets easily overshadowed during the holidays is our relationships with our loved ones, our family and friends, and how that is more important than gifts,” she said.

For people stressed about going to buy gifts while the COVID-19 pandemic is still active, Gill advises avoiding the mall crowds and either doing curbside pickups or shopping online when possible.

Gill also suggests maintaining a healthy diet by minimizing alcohol consumption and having a healthy snack before a big holiday meal.