Beige flags are the latest dating phenomenon that are dividing the internet

Forget red flags, beige flags are apparently the new dating phenomenon to be aware of that’s trending on TikTok. And yet, the definition of beige is, apparently, in the eye of the beholder. Unlike red flags (a sign that a partner or prospective partner is unsuitable), pink flags (minor ‘areas of concern’ for a partner that have the potential to escalate into a relationship-threatening problem down the line) and green flags (positive attributes), beige flags can mean different things dependent on context.

To break this down, we must consult the authority on all things slang-related: Urban Dictionary. The first definition that the website gives is: “Something that’s neither good nor bad but makes you pause for a minute when you notice it and then you just continue on. something odd.”

This is the definition inspiring a TikTok trend for “my boyfriend’s beige flag…” or “My girlfriend’s beige flag is…”, where people in relationships share quirky details about their partners, like the fact they always ask the waiter what they should order and then follow suit; or sleep-talking about their golf game; or mispronouncing words; or their refusal to put their phone on silent during the night in case they miss their alarm (I mean this one might grate personally but…)

The “beige flag” caption typically overlays a video of said partner doing something innocuous like eating or drinking coffee.

Anyway, Urban Dictionary offers a different definition too, seemingly only applicable to online dating profiles: “Beige flags are a sign that someone is boring or lacks originality. Beige flags are often generic or very cliche things that many people put in their profiles.”

Some listed include: “Pictures holding fish, statements about tacos, mentioning the relationships of TV characters, offering the choice to ride or die”

TikToker @itscaito, who calls herself “CEO of beige flags” in her bio and claims to have coined the term, lists a few in a now-viral video – which include “hating coriander, pineapple on pizza etc”, “any reference to extremely mainstream sitcoms” and “using puppies as your personality”.

The user @itcaito, aka Caito, takes “submissions via DM” from daters wanting her help to evaluate what is or isn’t a “beige flag” on someone’s profile or indeed their own.

From our own, ahem, field research, we might also suggest the generic prompts of certain dating apps, like Hinge and Bumble, which can conjure up predictable responses (e.g. “My simple pleasures…” might be partly responsible.

According to hook-up app Tapdat’s Creative Director Alice Leach, beige flags like dull “stock” responses on someone’s profiles are grounds for saying no to a date, because “Cliches in profiles are a turn-off because we know that the person hasn’t put in any effort – and this probably carries into the bedroom”. She adds: “Are you not really paying attention or are you too shy to be honest? Either way, a beige flag.”

However, is this being a little harsh? Brit Dawson, writing for GQ, takes a different view. Brit, who summarises beige flags as “cringe millennial tropes” like Harry Potter references, argues that “boring can be an underrated value when it comes to partnerships”, adding that what counts as a beige flag for one person might be a “green flag” for someone else. She also draws attention to the idea that just because someone is “boring” on their dating app might not translate into real life: “Dating profiles are strange online constructs that see people resort to generic responses and broad interests as people often feel intimidated by trying to sell themselves.”

Perhaps this is the real reason behind the apparently conflicting definitions of a “beige flag”. In relationships – as in the former definition – they’re loveable quirks. On a dating app, they’re a no-go. Presumably, many of these couples met on these very apps (some stats claim 70% meet on dating apps nowadays). Which begs the question: could judging a profile by its “beige flags” be a misguided policy? The jury is out…