BPD is linked to higher rates of suicide, so why is the stigma still stopping so many from getting the help they need?

Note: This article about borderline personality disorder (BPD)contains discussions of self-harm and suicide that some readers may find triggering.

I was just 12 years old when I first self-harmed, a terrifying thought for any parent and a devastating memory as I’ve grown older. It wasn’t until my first suicide attempt at the age of 19 that I was diagnosed with BPD. Six years later I’m still struggling to come to terms with it.

Over the years I’ve learned to control my emotions, holding strong communicative relationships with my friends, family, and partner. I still struggle with symptoms such as fear of abandonment, self-harm, shifting self-image, spins of emptiness, long-lasting feelings of guilt after doing nothing wrong and worrying that those around me think negatively of me. All of which is directed at myself, not those around me. The stigma surrounding BPD almost stopped me from seeking the help I desperately needed.

Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental health condition commonly misconstrued with words such as “crazy”, “selfish”, “dangerous”, “psychopath” and “incapable of love”. Studies have shown that BPD affects around 1 in 100 people. To put this in perspective, at the time of writing this, 1% of the UK population is 681,054 thousand. While most cases will go untreated, the chances of knowing someone struggling with BPD are likely.

Opening up about my mental health when I feel suicidal has always been a struggle for the fear of being a burden or upsetting those around me. Due to the up and down nature of the disorder for many years I’ve turned away therapy and medication. The stigma behind BPD made me scared of what people will think of me if I open up. The actions of one person should not categorise an entire community of already struggling minds.  I believe this is partly why the suicide rate is so high among those suffering.

“People with BPD are sometimes compared to burn victims as you are so vulnerable and take things straight to the heart.” You-tuber Pip Rudge discusses living with BPD on Behind The Masc, a new podcast that explores mental health and other topics.  “They find it hard to have their own identity and take on a lot of other people’s traits because they’re struggling to find their own,”

Here, I break down exactly what BPD is, what the symptoms are, and how you can seek help if you, or someone you know, is struggling.

What is BPD?

Commonly, people with BPD may have experienced severe emotional distress in their life such as but not limited to sexual assault, childhood abuse, (emotional) neglect, or domestic violence. 

Katriona O’Connor, a BACP registered qualified Integrative Therapist at We Listen Therapy tells GLAMOUR “People with BPD may feel like they are on an emotional roller coaster and tend to be extremely sensitive. Clients have described this as being overwhelmed by intense feelings, a sense they have been taken over by something or someone else and like it is happening to someone else, which we would call a dissociated state.”

Unmanaged BPD can lead to emotional breakdown episodes “with fight or flight kicking in, the rational side of the brain gets shut down and the primitive survival brain takes over and when this happens, it can be very difficult to calm it down.”

Hard to break away from splitting  “can be scary and stressful and shake one’s sense of self. The combination of the two can be problematic as you navigate through life and interact with others, have relationships and careers and so on.” explained Katriona. 

Common BPD symptoms can include:

1. Risky and impulsive behaviour, such as spending sprees, drug and alcohol abuse, reckless driving, binge eating, unsafe sex, sabotaging strong formed relationships, and one’s career.
2. Recurring self-harm and suicidal behaviour.
3. Harsh mood swings: jumping between emotions such as shame, anger, sadness, anxiety to intense happiness, and excitement. Lasting minutes, hours, or days at a time.
4. Patterns of unstable relationships: one might go from thinking the world of someone to thinking they are evil within the space of seconds.
5. Lasting feelings of emptiness
6. Disconnection from reality: one may believe what they are experiencing is not real lasting a few minutes to hours at a time.
7. Intense inappropriate anger such as bitter sarcastic comments, losing one’s temper, self-inflicted pain as a split personality.
8. Shifting self-image and self-identity including goals and values, seeing oneself as evil or a terrible person.
9. Deep fear of abandonment. Commonly linked to reckless attempts of ending relationships. [1]

To receive a Borderline, one must exhibit five out of nine common symptoms. So while BPD is often linked to explosive anger, which is indeed a possible symptom but not all people with the disorder will exhibit it. 

What BPD treatment is there?

As Katriona O’Connor explains: “The good news is that the brain is clever and with help, can learn to respond differently when your system is activated. Moving from being out of control to being in control is within your power. Every time you practice a new way of coping, your brain will form a neural pathway and in time this will override your original responses.