‘Cash-candid dating’ is the latest trend seeing us get very honest about money with our potential love interests

A lot of the change is likely linked to the rising cost of living (soz to bring it up again), which has led many of us to feel concerned, or under pressure, around our finances, and those of others. In fact, 30% of people aged 18-34 were found to be conscious of their date’s budget when suggesting a venue for a date and one in five (21%) people aged 18-34 are more likely to set themselves a budget to spend on a date than they were at the beginning of the year. 

And the good news? We’ve had some of our best dates enjoying a beer and a sharing a packet of crisps in a park somewhere, or, as we learned in-between lockdowns, heading out on a walk with someone, proving that the cheapest dates are sometimes the best. Plus, let’s face it, if the person you’re on a date with is mind-numbingly boring or has a lot to say about crypto, it’s unlikely that a super-fancy dinner or flashy cocktail bar is going to sweeten the pill. 

The big question is, how do we get the conversation around money started? Well, you’re in luck, because Alice Tapper, financial expert behind popular social media platform, Go Fund Yourself, has shared her top tips on how to approach conversations about money with your date. 

“This new-found transparency about finances amongst young people has likely stemmed from the trying times they currently face with the cost of living crisis,” she says. “Although this new trend of ‘cash-candid dating’ isn’t born from a very positive place, I do think it is a positive thing in itself, as it shows that people are choosing to date on their terms, and according to their budget”.

“Daters should feel comfortable talking about finances, because at the end of the day, not many people have unlimited financial resource to burn through on dates – so why not be more open about that? Not only this, but being more open about your budget can ultimately lead to a better dating experience, as you’ll feel less pressure to spend beyond your means”.

We agree, just tell us how to do it please…

How to suggest a low-key first date

Being 10 minutes into a three-course dinner and realising there is zero vibe is an expensive but avoidable situation. Save yourself the pain of having to think up an elaborate excuse in the loo (your mate suddenly contracting a tropical virus is not compelling…) and kick things off with a short and simple low-key date. A walk in the park on a sunny Saturday, a quick coffee. You get the idea. Bumble’s interest badges are a great way to find out more about what makes a person tick, so look out for these on your date’s profile and use as inspiration to suggest your low-key date activity.

How to suggest splitting the bill

It’s a controversial one, but in my view, nobody should be picking up the full tab unless they really, really want to. Times are tough and thankfully we’re moving beyond gendered expectations of who pays for what. Whilst paying can be a kind gesture, it often creates unhelpful expectations and pressure. On the first date in particular, there’s no shame in confidently asking ‘shall we split?’ In fact, research from Bumble shows a quarter (25%) of Gen Z and millennials believe that you should split date costs even if you and your date have different salaries.

How to figure out if you’re on the same page about finances

So, how do you work out someone’s values when it comes to finances? Having open conversations about money and earning with your date – also known as ‘cash-candid dating’ according to Bumble, are good places to start. On a first date, you can kick things off with questions like ‘Is work important to you or a means to an end?’ Down the line, you might move on to bigger conversations like whether they prioritise saving and paying off debt. Remember, there are no right answers – it’s just about what your values are and whether they align.

And remember… values over wealth

Lastly, whilst we’ve all heard the advice that it’s important to find someone who has the same values as you, remember that financial values are a ‘thing’ to. We’re all guilty of making assessments about a date, but what someone earns is only half the story – whilst it’s ok to want financial stability, someone’s behaviours and values around money are more important than what they earn.