Common emotional triggers that people feel in relationships

In a relationship, everyone has their own set of triggers. Be it a past situation or some words, or a memory, triggers can bring up long-term wounds and create conflicts, even separation in a relationship. Explaining this, Therapist Divya Robin wrote, “Triggers happen for a reason. We experience emotional triggers when a situation or experience reminds us of one from the past (often a painful one). This can be in any form.” Explaining on how to regulate our emotions when we feel the triggers, Divya further added, “Whatever it may be, our triggers give us insight on where we can heal. That is one of the biggest ways to use our triggers. Instead of avoiding them, be curious about them.”

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Here are a few common emotional triggers that people feel in their relationships:

Feeling unheard: Not feeling seen or heard is a major trigger in a relationship. It is important to allocate time for each other and be a good listener. Sometimes doing the mundane things together in a relationship helps in connecting the people better.

Feeling too much: Sometimes we feel that we are a handful for the other person. In such cases, we need to go back to the situation where we first heard it about us – this will help us in growing more compassion towards ourselves.

Partner feeling unavailable: When we constantly feel that the other person is never available for us, we feel abandoned. That’s when we get triggered.

Boundaries are not respected: When we feel that our boundaries are not respected, we should have a conversation and try to make the person understand how much the boundaries are important to us.

Feeling excluded: When we feel that we are constantly left out, we should remember that our self-worth does not depend on that.

Loneliness: When we feel lonely, we should turn to ourselves and try to understand if we can meet the needs in the relationship, and by ourselves.

Feeling we cannot speak up: When we feel we are suppressed and that we do not have a voice, it can be a major trigger.

Pretending: When we pretend for long that we are okay, when we are not, it can be a trigger for a conflict in a relationship.