Dad desperate to move as children ‘traumatised’ by room where mum died

A widower and dad-of-six claims he has been ignored by his housing association after desperately seeking a house move to support his grieving children.

The father, who asked not to be named, said his bereaved children are struggling to live in the house where their mum died and they refuse to enter the bedroom where she passed away.

The children, aged between one and 16, suddenly lost their mum on April 8, 2022, after she choked in the early hours of the morning. According to the ChronicleLive, one of her children tried to help resuscitate their mum, but she sadly died.

Following his wife’s tragic passing, the devastated dad has been desperate to move from the family’s three-bedroom County Durham house to help his children who have been suffering with their mental health since their loss. But he claims that he is still waiting for permission from his housing association, Believe Housing, despite being told there is a house for him to move into.

He said: “My wife died in front of me and my children and it’s having a big impact on my children’s mental health. No one will sleep in the room where she died. I’ve got six children and live in a three-bedroom house. I’m sleeping on the sofa and I can’t go back to work or be normal because I’ve got to sort my kids’ mental health out. I’ve got kids suffering really bad.

“I’ve asked if there was any short-term accommodation just to get us out the house and they’re point-blank refusing.”

The dad claims that when he first put the urgent request to move to Believe Housing he was told that he would need to clear his rent arrears before he could be re-housed. He says a fundraiser kindly set up by a parent at his children’s school and the family were able to clear their arrears, which he plans to pay back.

Two weeks ago he received the news that a home was found for the family, but it could take 28 days before he would be able to move. But the dad doesn’t understand the need for the delay and claims only minor repairs, such as painting, need to be completed on the property.

He said: “I haven’t got 28 days, it’s making the kids suffer.”

He added: “The impact it’s having on the kids being stuck in this house, even for another 28 days, it’s having a massive impact. But no matter how much I try and try and try they seem to just throw it back in my face. It’s like there’s no rush or urgency.

“They say they’ll put it down as urgent, but that’s all they can do. That’s no good to us. They’ve got a property there and they’ve let me view it. It needs a lick of paint and a stud wall put up and they’re still dragging it out for another 28 days.”

Ian Porter, director of neighbourhoods and customer experience at Believe Housing, said: “We are doing the utmost to support [the resident] and his family following the tragic loss of their wife and mother.

“We started a search for a new property in the area. At the time, given the family composition, no suitable homes were available for [the resident] and his family.

“A larger three-bedroom property recently became available, which we reserved for [the resident] to view. The viewing took place on October 18, and the customer decided to take the property.

“Extensive building work is underway on the house to make it suitable for the family’s needs. This includes creating a new bedroom by building a partition wall in the kitchen/diner, fitting a new kitchen, and repairing extensive damage left by the previous tenant.

“Given the level of work needed, we have given [the resident] an estimated moving date in mid-November. We are contacting [the resident] every Wednesday to keep him updated on the progress of the building work.”