Dear Abby: My cheating husband says I’m to blame. How can I gain his respect?

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DEAR ABBY: After 40 years of marriage, I just found out my husband has been having an emotional affair, in addition to an actual girlfriend he had 15 years ago.

I forgave him the last time. This time, he has only said he is wrong, but he hasn’t offered an apology, nor is he remorseful.

How can this be resolved? I have removed my wedding rings and refuse to go to his family gatherings.

I have read that if he doesn’t have remorse and ask for forgiveness, it just won’t work. Moreover, he blames me for his poor, impulsive choices. Then he minimizes what he did and tells me I’m “overreacting.”

How do I gain his respect? How do you convince someone how badly they have hurt you, and get them to make better choices?

WRONGED IN DELAWARE

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