Dear Abby: When I said those things, I didn’t know my boss recorded the office conversation

DEAR ABBY: I have a new job in a small office. I have never been comfortable meeting new people or learning a new job, so in order to appear friendly, I chime in to the office conversations.

A couple of times, I revealed too much of my life. Later, I found out the owner audio-records the office. Everyone else knew it, but I was never informed.

Now I’m more embarrassed than ever, knowing that my information is now on record. I have since learned to self-censor.

Abby, is it a common and legal practice for employers to bug offices?

BIG MOUTH IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BIG MOUTH: This is a question you should ask an attorney who specializes in employment law. In several states, it is illegal for an employer to record conversations without first informing all the parties involved. You should have been informed at the time you were hired that this was company policy.

I need my wife and children back. It hurts me to stay away.

I’m currently going to church and Sunday school and Bible study. I have been praying many hours these past few weeks, and it is helping me.

I will do anything and everything I can to get my family back because I don’t want to lose them. What can I do to get them back?

LEARNING A LESSON IN NEVADA

DEAR LEARNING: A good first step would be for you to gain some insight about what triggers you to act out violently.

Was physical abuse an example that was set by your parents? Does it happen because you have a substance abuse problem? A course in anger management could help you break this destructive pattern. Search online for a program near you.

After that, if your wife sees you are making a sincere effort, she may trust you enough to risk reuniting. A warning, however: Do not pressure her. This will have to be her decision.

DEAR ABBY: I’m friends with three people who got into a series of arguments. One of them no longer talks to the other two.

I have remained friends with all three and I told them I want to remain neutral. I wasn’t around when the arguments took place, and I don’t want to be involved.

One friend says that because I’m still friends with the other two, I’m taking their side and condoning how they treated her. I didn’t see the fights and I’m not condoning anyone’s behavior. The one friend has now stopped being friends with me.

I would like to be friends with everyone. Is this person right about me condoning the other two’s actions by remaining silent and continuing my friendship with them?

STAYING OUT OF IT IN MONTANA

DEAR STAYING OUT: No, she is not. What she is doing is trying to manipulate you. Repeat what you told her, and tell her if she can’t accept that you want to remain neutral, she will have lost another friend.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.