Demi Lovato reveals why she ditched ‘they/them’ pronouns: ‘It was exhausting’

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Demi Lovato is explaining why she went back to using “she/her” pronouns after coming out as non-binary in 2021.

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The pop star announced she was adopting “they/them” pronouns several years back declaring her energy was balanced between masculine and feminine associations.

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“Over the past year-and-a-half, I’ve been doing some healing and self-reflective work. And through this work, I’ve had the revelation that I identify as non-binary. With that said, I’ll be officially changing my pronouns to they/them,” Lovato explained on her 4D with Demi Lovato podcast at the time. “I feel that this best represents the fluidity I feel in my gender expression and allows me to feel most authentic and true to the person I both know I am, and am still discovering.”

But the Cool for the Summer singer went back to using “she/her” pronouns last year after becoming exhausted trying to spell out why she identified as non-binary.

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“I constantly had to educate people and explain why I identified with those pronouns. It was absolutely exhausting,” Lovato told GQ Hype Spain (via Fox News) of her decision to go back to using “she/her” in a new interview.

“I just got tired. But for that very reason I know that it is important to continue spreading the word.”

She added that the change had also been spurred by deeper emotions. “Recently, I’ve been feeling more feminine, so I’ve adopted she/her again.”

Lovato opened up on her choice to come out as non-binary in an interview with Jane Fonda saying the “the patriarchy” was behind some of her reasoning for the change.

“After years of living my life for other people, trying to make myself smaller for the patriarchy — they run the industry, they are at the centre of everything. When I realized that, I thought, ‘What are the ways that the patriarchy has been holding me back?’” Lovato said on Fonda’s Fire Drill Friday livestream (per Entertainment Tonight). “And for me, it was putting me in a box telling [me] that ‘You are a female, this is what you’re supposed to like, this is what you’re supposed to do, don’t dream bigger and don’t speak louder.’ That didn’t vibe for me because I’m too outspoken for that.”

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Last year, Lovato told Tamara Dhia on the Spout podcast (per PEOPLE) that her decision to come out as non-binary stemmed from her feelings of being “human at [her] core.”

“For me, I’m such a fluid person that … I felt like, especially last year, my energy was balanced in my masculine and feminine energy so that when I was faced with the choice of walking into a bathroom and it said ‘women’ and ‘men,’ I didn’t feel like there was a bathroom for me because I didn’t feel necessarily like a woman. I didn’t feel like a man. I just felt like a human.”

She continued: “That’s what they/them is about for me. It’s just about, like, feeling human at your core,” Lovato explained. “Recently, I’ve been feeling more feminine, and so I’ve adopted she/ her again. But I think what’s important is, like, nobody’s perfect. Everyone messes up pronouns at some point, and especially when people are learning. It’s just all about respect.”

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But despite now identifying as a woman, Lovato, who is currently in a relationship with musician Jutes, still says she wants more gender-neutral public spaces.

“I face this every day. For example, in public toilets. Having to access the women’s bathroom, even though I don’t completely identify with it,” she said in her chat with GQ Hype Spain.

“Or it also happens when filling out forms, such as government documents or any other where you have to specify your gender. You only have two options, male and female, and I feel like none of that makes sense to me.”

mdaniell@postmedia.com

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