Ellie Goulding on Her Exhilarating Return to the Dance Floor With ‘Higher Than Heaven’

While the birth of Goulding’s son was joyous, it also led to a more turbulent period for her mental health. It’s one that she’s still grappling with as she figures out how to tour the album in a way that protects her own wellbeing. “I’m not allowed to call the anxiety an enemy, apparently, and I’ve not been diagnosed with postpartum depression, but having my son made things a lot worse at times, and so it’s ever-changing,” she says. “I think it will always be there, and I don’t know if I will ever be able to just overcome it. That’s just the card I’ve been dealt. I would love to wake up one day without it, but it seems that no matter how much therapy I have, and how many lavender pills I take, it’s not going anywhere.” One of the most important coping strategies has been fitness: Goulding is into weight training and is a keen boxer, while also taking long daily walks in her local park to clear her head, where she mostly goes unrecognized. 

Indeed, another observation going semi-viral online at the moment reflects a mild surprise at just how many hits Goulding has pumped out over the years. In the U.K., Goulding’s stats are particularly staggering: she even scored her fourth number one earlier today (alongside long-time collaborator Calvin Harris) with the fiendishly addictive “Miracle.” When the song hit the Top 40 for the first time last month, it gave her the most chart entries from any British female solo artist ever, surpassing Dame Shirley Bassey. And yet, somehow—apart from a few high-profile relationships that saw her briefly enter the crosshairs of the notoriously rabid British tabloid media—she’s managed to do all this while keeping her private life, well, private. “I don’t actively go out, like, please get to know me,” she says. I’ve been making fairly successful songs for a long time, and a lot of people know my songs, and not really me, and I’m fine with that. I get to do exciting things and I get to do what I love. Who could complain about that?”

One of the new creative muscles Goulding has been able to flex on this album cycle—and the one she seems particularly enthusiastic about—is becoming involved with the visuals on a more granular level. She felt emboldened to take the leap after shooting herself for the Brightest Blue video “Power,” in which she chose to wear some more skin-baring looks than usual, wholly on her own terms. “It was nice to feel in control of my sexuality,” she says, noting that in the past, she’s occasionally felt boxed in by the image created for her by her record label. “I hate to use the term ‘girl next door,’ but I can’t think of any other way of describing it,” she recalls. “I do remember wanting to pick certain outfits and not being allowed. Everyone was sort of heavily pushing me in another direction, which was often just blonde, cute, pretty, floral. And I obliged to it, because I just always felt grateful to be signed to a major record label and to be in the position I was in, so I wasn’t going to question anything.”