In 2017, James Grixoni scored the role of a lifetime in Twin Peaks: The Return, Showtime’s long-awaited revival of David Lynch’s hit TV show Twin Peaks, which arguably changed the landscape of television when it first ran from 1990 to 1991. The Return takes place 25 years after Twin Peaks, but, this time, follows multiple storylines that are linked to FB Special Agency Dale Cooper’s (Kyle MacLachlan) original 1989 investigation of Laura Palmer’s (Sheryl Lee) murder. Grixoni played Halcomb, the deputy to the late Robert Forster’s Sheriff Truman. While a degree of pride in working on one of the best American TV shows of all time seems warranted — and, indeed, the most natural feeling one would expect to have — Grixoni says in our interview that the experience was more humbling than anything.
“I thought I got cut out of [the show], and I felt defeated,” the Seattle-born and -based actor says when, after filming scenes in his home state of Washington, he wasn’t called to continue filming in California. “But one of the things I understood about David Lynch was that he meditates, and he attributes a lot of his creativity to meditation.”
Taking a page from the director’s book, Grixoni, too, turned to yoga and meditation. “I was hoping that I would find some other answer [to fulfillment] inside of me. What ended up happening was: I totally relinquished the idea of fame and climbing the corporate ladder in the entertainment industry. Then, all of a sudden, the universe opened up, and I got a phone call [from Lynch’s team] and they’re like, ‘You’re invited to the premiere, you’re in [the show].'”
Now, Grixoni stars in Wes Hurley’s autobiographical coming-of-age film Potato Dreams of America, which will be available on VOD and digital on February 22, 2022. The film, which started as a short, portrays three different stages in the eponymous Potato’s journey: growing up gay in the Soviet Union; immigrating to Seattle with his mail-order-bride mother and attending American high school; and, finally, navigating the consequences of secrets, both personal and familial, that come to light. Grixoni plays the younger version of Potato’s American stepfather John, who, contrary to the outwardly conservative and overly religious beliefs he seemingly spits out at every turn, turns out to be suffering from his own suppressed queerness.
On Meeting Wes Hurley For the First Time
“I was asked to come and do a workshop about inclusivity [for the Seattle International Film Festival],” says Grixoni on meeting Wes Hurley for the first time. Hurley was orchestrating the workshop, which involved working with different actors from different identificatory backgrounds, and the goal was to illustrate nuances that inherently feed an actor’s performance depending on their sociodemographic positions. “It was really interesting how the same story that [we were working through] has a different resonance, depending on the individual’s cultural identity and the history they’ve gone through.”
Hurley, as it turns out, was also a massive fan of Twin Peaks, so after the workshop, the two met at a library to talk about Potato Dreams of America. What’s interesting is that as autobiographical as the movie is, Grixoni never met the real-life person he was playing. “I didn’t meet John. Wes cast me in this specific role because it was sort of in this period of suppressing [their] authenticity, where they’re playing more of a traditional male character going into the military and doing the whole song-and-dance of traditional American masculinity.
Indeed, when we first meet John in the film, he seems like an impediment to Potato and his mother’s happiness, threatening deportation and presenting a very narrow and conservative view of gender and sexuality. However, it turns out that John was overcompensating for his own suppressed desires. He was a boy who liked to wear dresses — something his mother, with violence, put an end to — who grew up and became a man who would try on his wife’s dresses when she and their son left the house. Deep down, John wanted to be “Grace,” and, tragically yet beautifully, it was his confrontation with Potato’s queerness that inspired him to finally live his — correction: her — true life.
On Why He Was Initially Reluctant to Take the Role
“I was really reluctant to take the role because I didn’t want to step on any toes or offend anybody in that regard,” says Grixoni, acknowledging his position as a straight, cisgender man. “But Wes was adamant about me having this part. He was like, ‘You emote really well, you’ve got big eyes and features.'”
When asked what it felt like to play the scene in which John lets Grace come out, the actor said: “This is a situation where the costume pretty much defined everything. [Wearing a wig and dress] was sort of liberating because I feel like we all have masculinity and femininity, so this almost gave me a chance to explore my own femininity.” Which, of course, wasn’t without its challenges. “Before [getting into] costume, I’m sitting there with the guys [in the crew], talking and BS-ing with each other, and then [after getting into] costume, those same guys couldn’t make eye contact with me, let alone have a conversation.”
Nevertheless, authenticity, in both his art and his life, is paramount for Grixoni. “I think, ultimately, the story Wes is trying to promote is about embracing your authenticity and embracing oneself, conveying love and then also accepting self-love,” he says. “First and foremost, Wes is a beautiful genius. Being part of this project, especially as a heterosexual white male, it allowed me to understand that it’s not my perspective. No, it’s definitely emphasizing the gay and trans communities. But, also, I feel like the story resonates as a human story. There’s lots of individuals that don’t or can’t accept their own authenticity, and [sometimes] we’re forced to change ourselves in order to fit in. I think that this movie breaks the mold and really celebrates self-acceptance.”
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