Felt like being thrown under the bus – Ashwin recalls Shastri remark that crushed him

In
an
interview
with
‘ESPNcricinfo’,
Ashwin
was
asked
how
he
felt
when
then
coach
Shastri
anointed
Kuldeep
Yadav
as
India’s
No.
1
spinner
overseas
after
he
had
taken
a
five-for
in
the
2019
Sydney
Test
against
Australia.

Ashwin
said
he
was
genuinely
happy
for
Kuldeep
as
he
knew
how
difficult
it
is
to
take
five
wickets
as
a
spinner
in
Australia
but
Shastri’s
remarks
left
him
“absolutely
crushed”.

“I
hold
Ravi
bhai
in
high
esteem.
We
all
do.
And
I
understand
we
all
can
say
things
and
then
retract
them.
In
that
moment,
though,
I
felt
crushed.
Absolutely
crushed,”
Ashwin
said.

“We
all
talk
about
how
important
it
is
to
enjoy
your
team-mates’ success.
And
I
was
happy
for
Kuldeep.
I
have
not
been
able
to
get
a
five-for
but
he
has
a
five-for
in
Australia.

“I
know
how
big
it
is.
Even
when
I
have
bowled
well
(at
other
times),
I
haven’t
ended
up
with
a
five-for.
So
I
am
genuinely
happy
for
him.
And
it’s
an
extremely
happy
occasion,
to
win
in
Australia.

“But
if
I
have
to
come
and
partake
in
his
happiness,
and
the
success
of
the
team,
I
must
feel
like
I
belong
there.
If
I
feel
like
I
am
being
thrown
under
the
bus,
how
am
I
supposed
to
get
up
and
come
for
a
party
to
enjoy
the
team’s
or
team-mate’s
success?”

Ashwin,
however,
still
made
it
to
the
celebration
party
that
was
organised
following
the
Indian’s
team’s
historic
series
triumph
Down
Under.

“I
went
back
to
my
room
and
then
I
spoke
to
my
wife.
And
my
children
were
there.
So
we
were
able
to,
you
know,
shrug
it
off,
and
I
still
made
it
to
the
party,
because,
end
of
the
day,
we
had
won
a
massive
series.”

The
35-year-old
said
that
recurring
injuries
meant
that
he
was
playing
under
“excruciating
pain” when
he
took
three
wickets
in
each
innings
to
lead
India
to
victory
in
the
first
Test.

Shastri’s
remark
was
quite
too
much
for
Ashwin
after
he
played
a
role
in
the
team’s
win
in
the
series
opener.

“The
first
Test
seemed
like
a
distant
memory
by
then.
I
had
taken
three
of
the
first
four
wickets
in
the
first
innings
after
we
were
bowled
out
cheaply,
and
then
when
it
got
really
flat
in
the
final
innings,
I
plugged
away
for
50-plus
overs
and
took
three
wickets
despite
what
turned
out
to
be
a
grade
three
abdomen
tear.

“In
my
mind,
I
had
done
something
great
for
the
team
in
excruciating
pain,
but
all
I
heard
was,
“Nathan
Lyon
took
six,
Ashwin
took
three”.

“As
it
is,
I
was
frustrated
with
my
body
for
letting
me
down
when
I
was
in
really
good
bowling
form.
The
last
thing
I
needed
was
these
comparisons
and
insinuations.
Between
that
reaction
and
Sydney,
it
didn’t
feel
like
I
had
played
any
part
at
all,”
Ashwin
said.

Ashwin
has
been
a
great
asset
for
India
in
both
home
and
away
conditions
in
the
longer
format
of
the
game.

The
spinner
has
so
far
taken
427
Test
wickets,
making
him
the
third-highest
wicket-taker
from
the
country
after
Anil
Kumble
and
Kapil
Dev
in
the
red-ball
format.
But
there
was
a
phase
between
2018
to
2020
when
he
almost
quit
playing.

“Between
2018
and
2020,
I
contemplated
giving
up
the
sport
at
various
points.
I
thought,
‘I
have
put
in
a
lot
of
effort,
but
it
is
not
coming
through.’

“The
harder
I
tried,
the
farther
it
felt.
Especially
with
athletic
pubalgia
and
the
patellar
tendonitis
–
I
used
to
bowl
six
balls
and
then
I
used
to
be
gasping
for
breath.
And
there
would
be
pain
all
over
the
place.

“So
you
needed
to
make
adjustments.
When
the
knee
pain
got
excruciating,
the
next
ball
I
would
probably
jump
less.
When
I
jumped
less,
obviously
the
force
needs
to
be
produced
through
the
core
and
the
back
and
the
shoulders,
so
the
pubalgia
(a
chronic
groin
lesion)
would
act
up.

“So
the
third
ball
I
would
be
extra
side-on
to
try
to
use
the
hips.
By
the
time
I
was
done
with
six
balls,
I
would
be
like,
‘I
need
a
break
here’,” Ashwin
recalled.

He
also
said
that
an
injury
breakdown
in
overseas
assignments
is
often
sneered
at
by
the
game’s
observers,
an
attitude
that
reflects
the
lack
of
empathy
in
cricketing
community.

“Only
when
it
hits
them
personally
do
they
have
the
empathy.
Empathy
is
being
able
to
put
yourself
in
others’
shoes,
and
feel,
‘Hey
what
if
it
happens
to
me?’
I
feel
as
a
cricketing
community,
we
lack
that,”
he
lamented.