Florida woman steals car because she was ‘tired of walking’

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Most of us have, at some point in our lives, been utterly exhausted whilst walking to a destination, and fervently wished for a set of wheels to ease the journey. That journey might just have been to the fridge for another Coke, but still, you know the yearning I’m talking about.

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Well, one resident of the Sunshine State took those thoughts to a whole ‘nuther level earlier this week. Yes, 59-year-old Yamila Laborde of Florida stands accused of two charges of theft by unlawful taking, both levelled within the span of about four hours, according to a Facebook post attributed to the Paducah Police Department in Kentucky. The reasoning she gave to police for her actions, that is, attempting to, and then later successfully, stealing a car? Well, she was “tired of walking.”

Alrighty, then.

The local PD described the tale of an initial attempted theft in which Laborde allegedly tried to take a 2016 Ram pickup truck from the parking lot near a Walmart Supercenter, just before 1:00 pm in the afternoon. The truck’s owner, who was loading the thing up with groceries, described Laborde approaching the truck and heaving herself into the vacant driver seat, then telling the passenger to get out.

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Instead of driving away, Laborde failed to put the truck in gear, which made it easy for her to be detained by the gendarmes. She was arrested on her first charge of the day, and booked into the county clink. [The police report did not specify whether the truck was equipped with the exceedingly rare G56 six-speed manual offered in some Rams that year; or with an automatic, perhaps with rotary-knob shifter, but we’d bet on the latter. —Ed.]

However, about four hours later, cops responded to another auto theft, this time of a 2001 Toyota. The owner of that vehicle said that, upon exiting a library, they observed their car being driven away by an unknown female. Officers quickly tracked down the vehicle and apparently found – you guessed it – Laborde behind the wheel. It was here she proffered her excuse about being “tired of walking.” Totally fair point, Laborde.

Rozzers once again booked Laborde into their accommodations, this time with a holding bond of $2,500. As for why the perp was let out onto the streets nearly immediately after trying to take the pickup truck, it is surmised the first charge was labeled as a theft “attempt,” which armchair lawyers will suggest to you is a misdemeanour in Kentucky.

Since the suspect actually made away with the second vehicle, that suffix is dropped, and the impetus to keep the person behind bars becomes more urgent. That’s hardly a way to keep streets safe, but there it is. Remember, kids: don’t steal.