Forget marriage – if you really want to be happy, spend more time with strangers

Name: Weak ties.

Age: The term was coined by the US sociologist Mark Granovetter in 1973, but we’ve been weakly tied to each other, nodding and exchanging pleasantries, for ever.

Appearance: Diverse. Natty bowler hat and ’tache guy, complex coffee orderer, Tesco Metro goth, cool trousers lift colleague …

I’m putting my foot down – no more new TikTok style trends. I’m barely coping with coastal grandmother. No, these are weak-tie members of my “social portfolio”.

Your what now? It’s all the people you encounter in your daily life, from friends and family to the vaguely familiar faces you interact with on your commute, in cafes, in the street, at the gym … Those are your “weak ties”: people you don’t know well but have the odd exchange with. Who are yours?

My relationships with Looks Like His Retired Greyhound, Quiet-Coach Shared-Eyeroll Woman and I Think He’s Called Dave But It’s Too Late to Ask are my own business. Well, they might be doing you more good than you realise.

How so? Research published this week shows that people who interact with a diverse “social portfolio” report greater life satisfaction and wellbeing. Harvard researchers took a sample of 50,000 people from eight countries and analysed their webs of social connections; those with more “weak ties” had higher satisfaction levels.

Hmm, but maybe people with loads of connections are just naturally sunnier types? The researchers considered this – and that being unwell or unhappy might narrow your social circle and also make you report lower life satisfaction, without the two necessarily being connected. But they also observed that people reported improved wellbeing in weeks when they interacted more. It does seem that making more connections just makes us happy.

I don’t believe it. I’m happy as a clam at home all day, speaking to no one. The researchers point out that “a large literature demonstrates individuals’ surprising inability to anticipate which decisions will result in their highest wellbeing”. In other words, you don’t know what’s good for you.

I don’t have time for lengthy chats with all and sundry, though. I have pass notes to disapprove of. It’s a quantity not quality thing: the variety of people in your social network is more important than how long you spend with them. Diversifying your portfolio “may offer a time-neutral means of shaping wellbeing”, as the study puts it.

Are you saying I should drop my close friends for a load of random acquaintances? The study also found “social portfolio diversity was a stronger predictor of subjective wellbeing than being married”. Just saying.

Do say: “Chillier today, isn’t it?”

Don’t say: “I left my wife for you, Bus Stop Dave – you could at least ask how my day is going.”