Halo’s Warthog Is Real And Drivable, If You’re A Small Child

I cannot believe I’m writing this, but Microsoft has released a ride-on Halo Warthog designed for kids ages three and up. The 24-volt vehicle has two seats and even has the Gauss Cannon on the back, which has been rigged with a laser tag blaster. It comes with a vest so you can chase after the person wearing it. The Warthog is available to purchase exclusively at Walmart for a whopping $498.

I’m not sure if three-year-olds even know about Halo. To investigate, I asked my 19-month-old son if he wanted to play Halo Infinite. His response? “Elmo.” Though this wasn’t a scientific study, it might signal that parents will want this ride-on Warthog more than their youngsters. The sad truth is that parents won’t be able to fit behind the wheel. I already asked my wife if I could buy the Warthog “for our son,” but she, unsurprisingly, told me no.

Back to the Warthog itself. It looks pretty darn cool, an authentic replica of the iconic vehicle from the Halo series. It has off-road terrain wheels, operable headlights, and sound effects like a blaster noise and an engine revving. The Gauss Cannon rotates and features “weapon” voice commands. There’s even a dashboard that displays the Warthog’s “health.”

The Warthog has a max speed of nine miles per hour, so the person wearing the laser tag vest could very well outrun it–unless they have tiny legs. Children often have tiny legs. In addition to the turret laser gun, the package comes with a separate blaster.

It’s evident to me that this Warthog is awesome. If you don’t believe me, check out the pictures below. Those kids are exceedingly happy, but they probably aren’t so happy when their parents try to scrunch themselves into the Warthog and take it for a spin.