DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel as if people contact me only because they want something and not because they want to check in on me. I am a person who is well-connected and in the know about opportunities that are available.
I am going into my senior year of college right now, and everyone around me is trying to develop their careers. People have seen how I was able to secure an internship before I even started my junior year, which led to a full-time offer.
This has caused a large influx of people asking me how I did it and if I can help them get connected. I want to help others succeed, but it’s hard when they just want me to do things for them — they never actually want to speak to me about much beyond career development.
How do I create a relationship where people aren’t just using me while still managing to help people out?
Stop Using Me
DEAR STOP USING ME: Why not flip the script here? Get creative and set up a consulting company.
Offer to help people strategize their next moves for finding internships and otherwise setting themselves up for the future — for a fee. Be clear about what you can offer; namely, you cannot guarantee anything, but you will share ideas and make recommendations. Sometimes just talking to someone can spark an idea in a person, as you have seen. Offer to be that person.
That way, you will not be used by others for your knowledge; you will be compensated. This will weed out plenty of people who were freeloaders. It can also create space for you to see who you want to get to know better as a friend and who is genuinely interested in you for you rather than for your connections.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 57-year-old white woman who has been married to my Black husband for 30 years.
My parents have always been supportive of my marriage and have welcomed him into the family. However, since the Black Lives Matter protests started in 2020, they have been making negative comments about the movement and the Black community as a whole.
It’s been hard to deal with because I have three teenage daughters with my husband, and they have noticed this shift in their grandparents’ behavior and are really upset that they don’t support BLM.
The other day, my dad started making some outlandish comments again, and I finally snapped at him and told him that he had to stop saying these racist remarks around me and my family. He did not react well, which has now led to us not talking.
I love my parents, but I won’t tolerate this behavior. How should I go about fixing our relationship?
Need To Heal
DEAR NEED TO HEAL: Request a meeting with your parents where you talk things out. Find out exactly what their gripes are about BLM. Listen closely to learn their concerns and do your best to consider what they have to say, point by point.
It is possible for them not to support this movement and still love and support your children, your husband and you.
Let your parents know how upset your children are about what their grandparents have said, and plead with them to find a way to rekindle that bond. Ask them to work with you to reconnect your family.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Stay connected with us on social media platform for instant update click here to join our Twitter, & Facebook
We are now on Telegram. Click here to join our channel (@TechiUpdate) and stay updated with the latest Technology headlines.
For all the latest Lifestyle News Click Here
