DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend of many years recently approached me about becoming her roommate. Although I agreed, I’m starting to regret it.
She’s making it very hard for us to find a place to rent due to the high number of restrictions she’s placing on our search. We can’t find anything within our price range that matches her list of must-haves, from its proximity to her office to her desired room size. It feels like the further we search, the harder it is for us to agree on anything.
I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings by telling her that I don’t think it’s going to work, but I also don’t want to regret my decision down the road. I would like to continue my apartment search without her.
How should I handle this without hurting our friendship?
Moving On
DEAR MOVING ON: The best thing you can do is address this now, before you sign a lease.
Living with someone is a huge commitment, and it should not be one-sided. Your description makes it seem that all of the requirements are coming from your friend.
What about you? What do you want? Have you and she considered your desires? If you do not assert yourself now, chances are, she will remain just as demanding when you move in.
Trust your gut. Tell her that you would rather preserve the friendship than live together, so you want to pull out of the shared apartment search.
She may be mad at first, but trust that it’s better to upset her a little bit now than be stuck in a binding relationship later.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I work for a company that still requires employees to take a weekly COVID-19 test.
I get it; the disease is not gone yet and may never completely go away. I have friends who have gotten it recently. So in theory, I don’t have a problem taking a weekly test.
My issue is that my company expects the employees to pay for them. The price adds up over time, and it’s not like I get paid a big salary.
There are some places where you can go for free tests, but they are inconvenient. There used to be tons of them around, but now they are harder to find.
I think it’s unreasonable for my company to require the test without providing a way for all of us to take it safely and without cost. If they had them at the office the way they have masks, it could simply be part of office protocol. Do I dare make that recommendation?
Free Test
DEAR FREE TEST: By all means, speak to your supervisor, or even the owner of the company if you have a rapport, and make your recommendation.
Express your concerns about cost and convenience. Also, point out that the company will have better control over when employees take the test if they are conducted on-site.
If you feel that the leadership will not appreciate your suggestion, do so anonymously. You may even want to encourage others to speak up and share their opinions. If enough of you say something, the way of enforcing the protocol may change.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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