DEAR HARRIETTE: Here we are at Valentine’s Day again, and I’m sick to my stomach.
My girlfriend is so cheesy about these things. She expects me to get her a gift, take her out, buy her flowers — all the things we see in ads. She has been dropping hints for weeks about us doing something special for this manufactured holiday. It makes me ill.
Don’t get me wrong: I love her. But I don’t appreciate the hype. I have told her time and again, but here we are anyway.
How can I refuse to comply with societal pressures around Valentine’s Day but also ensure that she knows I care about her?
Anti-Cupid
DEAR ANTI-CUPID: This is tricky because you have a whole commercial system that is up against you. Since your girlfriend is into Valentine’s Day, you should at least acknowledge it for her sake.
You can tell her how you feel about her. You do not have to buy her a fancy present. You can remind her that you don’t like the commercialization of the holiday, but out of your love for her, you want to make sure she knows that your heart is with her.
Be prepared to deal with her disappointment if she has expectations built up in her head. This may seem trivial now, but it is worth discussing. What you value matters. Every relationship requires give and take.
If this one thing is super-important to her, perhaps you should pay more attention to it. Similarly, if there is something that you are passionate about that doesn’t inspire her so much, ask her to give you some grace in that area.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently heard about a different way to consider Feb. 14 beyond the traditional practice of celebrating Valentine’s Day. Apparently there is a global movement to protect the rights of women and girls around the world, called V-Day, that is gaining traction.
Do you know about this? How can I get involved?
A Meaningful Option
DEAR A MEANINGFUL OPTION: The creator of the popular production “The Vagina Monologues” founded V-Day some years back as a way to draw awareness to the plight of women and girls globally.
V, formerly Eve Ensler, has devoted her life to liberating women from oppression, and this taking back of the commercial holiday is one way she is doing it. V-Day is described on her website as “a global activist movement to end violence against all women (cisgender, transgender and those who hold fluid identities that are subject to gender-based violence), girls and the planet.” If you are interested in learning more, go to vday.org.
I interviewed V last year and learned how deeply and vastly she works with women all over the world to protect and empower them. Many of the stories she tells are harrowing when you learn about the abuse that some women have suffered, but the stories of triumph are inspiring beyond measure.
You can watch “City of Joy,” a film V co-produced, on Netflix. The movie documents the struggles that women in the Republic of the Congo face and the work that is being done to help them regain their health and dignity.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Stay connected with us on social media platform for instant update click here to join our Twitter, & Facebook
We are now on Telegram. Click here to join our channel (@TechiUpdate) and stay updated with the latest Technology headlines.
For all the latest Lifestyle News Click Here
