DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend called and asked me if her daughter could come to stay with me for a few months because she wants to see if she can make it in my city.
These people are very nice, and I want to help, but right now my husband and I are going through what is likely going to be a divorce.
We are in the throes of figuring out our lives, and it isn’t pretty. We haven’t talked to anybody about it, but it is happening. Our son just moved out, and we are finally dealing with our issues.
How do I say no to my friend and give her a reason without revealing what’s going on in my personal life?
Bad Timing
DEAR BAD TIMING: You can say no without a long explanation. Tell her that this is the worst possible time for you. You are going through some personal challenges, and you cannot welcome her daughter at this time.
Apologize for not being able to accommodate her, but keep your answer as no. Later, after the dust settles, you can reveal the details.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been a diversity, equity and inclusion coach for about six years now, and it’s been a great experience — I love working with professionals of all ages and helping them learn, grow and educate themselves.
In 2020 I realized that the demand for DE&I coaches was much higher than it had ever been before. In 2022, however, the interest in that field has dropped off so much that I’m finding it hard to get booked for coaching. It’s as if my work is no longer relevant to larger companies.
Is it because DE&I coaching has become less effective? Or could the demand for my work have just completely disappeared? What advice can you offer a DE&I coach who isn’t booking nearly as many jobs today as I was two years ago?
Struggling Coach
DEAR STRUGGLING COACH: There was a groundswell of interest in diversity, equity and inclusion after the murder of George Floyd and the subsequent commitment of corporate America, in particular, to educate its workers about how to be more sensitive and inclusive.
Many factors played into that moment, including the fact that most people were isolated during the period of quarantine, and companies needed to find ways to engage their teams and show them that they truly cared. People who had never even done DE&I work were hired to help open the eyes of people about how to treat each other.
Now, that wave has subsided. Companies are figuring out how to manage a hybrid workplace, remain profitable and move forward in an ever-changing work environment. Attrition is at an all-time high, and companies are focused on how to curb that far more than how they are treating people who are different from each other.
To survive and thrive, you need to pitch yourself and your services as essential to the future. Position your work as vital to the health of the working world given how diverse the workforce is becoming. Get creative in your pitching and be sure to point out how long you have worked in this field.
Your longevity should be appealing, as it proves you didn’t just jump in like so many others.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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