DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, I took the step of completely purging my social media accounts of people I don’t feel particularly close to anymore.
Most of these people are not friends of mine, and I don’t think it makes sense for us to continue following each other on social media.
Unfortunately, some of these people have taken this personally.
I feel terrible about hurting their feelings, but at the same time, I don’t know if I owe them an explanation. After all, it’s my account and my choice who I want to follow.
What should I do? Should I try to explain my decision to these people?
— Purging My Socials
DEAR PURGING MY SOCIALS: It is OK for you to draw a line in the sand about who will be part of your social media community. You do not owe anyone an explanation. Indeed, prolonging the “breakup” by explaining why you unfollowed them probably won’t make the blow any less severe.
If asked, you can say that you want to have a much smaller footprint on social media, so you have limited your community to your closest friends. These other people must know they aren’t your intimate friends. You can also post something on your social pages acknowledging that you are pulling back and will be engaging less. You can even take a pause and not post at all for a while. When you return, it can be with your smaller group intact.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I hate my hair! I have had major issues with my hair since high school due to the fact that my hair slowly started changing texture in one section of my head.
Over the years, it has gotten more difficult to wear my hair out without the back of my head showing the two drastically different textures.
For background, I am mixed Black and white, and I have textures ranging from 2b loose waves to 3c tight curls. I tried doing passion twists and braids, but the 2b hair slips out of the braids in large chunks. I recently tried crochet twists, and they did last longer, but the cornrows underneath started falling out.
When I straighten my hair, it looks nice, but I don’t want to risk heat damage.
I have thought about different haircuts that can help, but the 3c curls shrink up. Since that hair makes up the top layer, evening the cut out to this level wouldn’t look right. I have thought about a pixie cut, but I fear this won’t look right either because it would call even more attention to my different curls.
What advice would you offer in order to find ways to feel more confident in my curls?
— Coil Control
DEAR COIL CONTROL: The good news is that there are many hair stylists who understand hair with multiple textures. Plus, there are many hair products on the market that can help you tame your varied curls.
I do recommend that you get help. Find a stylist who specializes in natural hair. This may take some research and even possibly a short trip to a bigger city depending on where you live. Do your research to find the right stylist and salon for you.
With professional help, you can learn how to style your hair with and without heat so that you can enjoy and control your curls rather than be frustrated by them.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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