DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman who works at my job just had a baby, and she named the child after me. I was shocked.
I guess it’s nice, but she and I are not friends, and we spend no time together outside of the office.
She is now inviting me to participate in family activities and things. She tells me she always liked me and admired me. That’s why she named her child after me.
I find it all a bit creepy. I do not want to be her friend or a godmother to her child. How can I close this door without seeming rude?
My Namesake
DEAR MY NAMESAKE: This is an awkward situation!
You can thank the woman for naming her child after you. That’s the thoughtful thing to do. You can say that you hope whatever she likes about you will be part of who her child is and becomes. You can gently decline invitations to hang out with her and her family. You are not required to be a part of this woman’s life.
That doesn’t mean that it isn’t odd. It is. But from a bigger perspective, it’s actually sweet that your co-worker thought so much of you to bestow your name upon her child. Take it as a compliment. Be kind to her, even as you keep your distance.
You never know — one day you might change your mind and get to know the child. That doesn’t mean you have to have an official role, but you may choose to know her.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I work part-time and remotely for a small business that is run by two people. I used to work full-time, but part-time made more sense for me and my schedule.
Sometimes I think that my bosses forget that I work part-time, based on the amount of work that they give me on a daily basis. How do I kindly remind them that the volume of work that they are giving me is too similar to the volume of work that they gave me when I was full-time, and that it’s way too much work?
Gentle Reminder
DEAR GENTLE REMINDER: Request an end-of-year review meeting with your bosses. Be prepared with an itemization of the work you have done, including when you worked full-time and now. Show them what your productivity has been and what their requests have been.
Point out that they have continued to give you work equal to the volume of a full-time employee, and you want to ask them to recalibrate. Let them know what you believe you can complete in the hours that you work. Assure them that the other work will be finished, but that it may take longer than they would like because you are no longer a full-time employee. But then, you have to reinforce this by not doing 40 hours’ worth of work in 20 hours. Be sure to point out your loyalty even though your hours are reduced.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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