DEAR HARRIETTE: A few close girlfriends and I recently went out of town for a trip that we had been planning for months. We rarely get to spend time together anymore because of how busy we all are with our jobs and kids.
The problem was that when we got there, some of my friends turned our girls’ trip into a trip that revolved around random men. They were going out of their way to hang out with complete strangers, even at times inviting them on our excursions and to dinner with us.
It totally put a damper on the trip and caused a lot of tension among all of us.
Now that we are all back home, I want to have a group call with the girls to discuss why what they did was uncool. How do I go about this?
Girls Trip
DEAR GIRLS TRIP: The best-case scenario would be for all of you to be in the same space when you talk, but a video call can work if necessary. Call it a “vacation debrief.”
Start by asking what each person liked about the trip. Give everyone time to express their feelings. Then ask what didn’t work.
If nobody brings it up, speak to the elephant in the room. Explain how disturbing it was to you that several friends invited random men into your group, which put a damper on your time together. Get them to talk about it.
Chances are, they will be defensive. Hear them out. Suggest that if you ever do a girls’ trip again, you make rules about other people’s involvement.
DEAR HARRIETTE: It is Halloween again, and I am still a bit skittish about allowing my children to go trick-or-treating.
I know that people are trying to get back to normal, but COVID-19 is not gone. I worry that the kids might get candy that isn’t properly wrapped and that they may be in too close of proximity to other people.
I have given in and allowed them to get costumes. We are hosting an event at our house for their friends, but they still want to go door-to-door. How can we do that safely?
Trick or Treat
DEAR TRICK OR TREAT: Many parents are nervous about this time of year every year. COVID-19 just adds to the stress. It’s great that you are hosting your own event where you have some control over who your children will be around.
It’s also perfectly understandable that they want to do more. Incorporate a COVID mask into their costumes. This way, even when they are around other people, they will be wearing some protection.
Go with them as they move from door to door. Make a rule that they cannot eat anything until they bring home their candy and you can look it over. When you sort the candy, show them what has to be tossed and tell them why so that they learn about food safety.
If they have to throw away something they particularly love, don’t give in. You can offer to purchase that item for them another day.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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