Harriette Cole: I’m running out of money, and my friends have no compassion

DEAR HARRIETTE: My income has decreased dramatically this year. I see people living it up and enjoying life, going out a lot and spending money, and I can’t hang like I did last year.

My friends don’t understand. I have told them the truth. I do not have a fat corporate job like they do. I work for a small startup that needed to make deep cutbacks this year in order to stay in business and keep most of the staff.

I appreciate not being let go, but I can tell you that it is tough working the same number of hours for a lot less pay.

I don’t mean to complain. It’s just that my friends have zero compassion and get mad when I say I can’t hang out all the time.

How can I get them to understand?

Can’t Hang

DEAR CAN’T HANG: Get creative. Invite your friends to come over to your house instead of going out to an establishment. You can serve simple things that aren’t expensive but that can create an enjoyable ambiance.

Hopefully, your friends will attend and see that you do still want to spend time with them and that it is possible to have a good time without spending a lot of money.

Next time they invite you to join them at a spot that you can’t afford, ask for a rain check. You are wise not to stretch yourself too thin by spending more money than you have.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work on a project with a woman who drives me nuts.

First of all, she does not do a thorough job, which leaves me with a lot of cleanup work.

Second, because we are working on this job together, I think we should review the work before sharing it with others. That way, if any tweaks need to be made, that happens before other eyes get to see it. But she never follows that request. Instead, she sends the first drafts to everybody who is even peripherally on the team.

That means that after I edit it, she then has to resend it to the whole group. This has caused confusion and unnecessary work for the rest of the team. I remind her each time to send it to me first, and she ignores me.

I don’t get it. The work she submits is not even usually tight enough to share with the group, so she’s outing herself by not waiting for my feedback. How can I get her to stop?

Not Following Protocol

DEAR NOT FOLLOWING PROTOCOL: You may want to let this woman dig her own grave. If her work truly is substandard and she continues to share the unedited evidence widely, others are getting to see the quality.

It may not be optimal, but if any of those people pays attention, eventually it may be noticed that her work needs heavy editing to be useful.

Beyond that, you can remind her — once again — of the checks and balances process that you would like for her to follow, but clearly she has it in her mind that she is supposed to show the whole group.

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