DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my male friends is close to a woman who is part of a project I just joined. I have seen them out together twice, and it’s really awkward.
He and I are cool. I have considered him a friend for many years. His companion, however, has a negative attitude toward me. We don’t really know each other, but her business partners and I are friends from years back, and they don’t get along.
I’m wondering if I should confide in my friend that I don’t know how to break the ice with my new colleague — or even if that’s a good idea. I can tell they are close. I don’t want to make things worse.
Should I reach out to him or just keep my mouth shut?
Forging a Liaison
DEAR FORGING A LIAISON: Whatever you say to your friend will go straight to this woman. As long as you are clear about that, you can proceed.
If you make it known that you want to clear space for a relationship between you and his friend, you may have a chance to get to know her better. If you will be working together, that may be a good idea.
Don’t complain about her to him. Instead, suggest what your vision of the ideal relationship would be, and find out if he can help to facilitate that.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I work freelance and, therefore, never know when it will be feast or famine. As a result, I always say a resounding yes when I am asked to do a job.
I had a good year last year, but things are kind of dicey this year, so I have been saying yes like crazy.
I also have been fighting off one illness after another this year. I feel certain that my illnesses are happening because I haven’t gotten enough rest, but I’m afraid to stop. If I turn down work this month, how am I going to pay my bills in a few months?
I don’t mean to sound desperate, but recently I was in a situation where my income was down and I was nearly thrown out of my apartment. How can I take better care of myself and afford to take care of myself?
Not Enough
DEAR NOT ENOUGH: Get quiet for a minute and assess your life.
What can you do differently? Can you look for freelance jobs that pay higher rates? Can you consider adjusting what you do to make your work less strenuous? Can you look for a full-time or part-time job, even if it’s not directly in your field?
The constant juggle of searching for projects takes a lot of energy. If you can get a job that possibly offers benefits but definitely offers some stability, at least for a while, you may be able to give yourself the luxury of not working around the clock, resting more without putting yourself in financial peril.
Also, assess how you care for yourself. What do you eat? Drink? When do you rest? How do you spend whatever time you have to yourself? Can you develop healthier routines that may improve your state of mind and body? Be honest with yourself, and make whatever changes you can, one at a time.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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